Of Lucky Socks and Lollipops
by fullmetalgrigori
Summary: Lily has always known that she hates James Potter. It takes a pair of lucky socks, her friends, his friends, and some lollipops to change her mind. Rated "T" for safety, it probably won't deserve it.
1. The Last Day of Term

**A/N: Hi all! I started this story a few months ago, but became unhappy with the direction it was taking. I decided to try and write the whole thing and post it, but I felt unmotivated. So after huge revisions, I'm reposting. If you have read the old one, please read these new chapters. I know they'll sound familiar, but there are some crucial changes. I'm really sorry about doing this to you, but I think we'll both be happier in the long run.  
Thanks to beta littlemislilyevans.  
****Disclaimer: HP is not mine. **

The Last Day of Term

There are many things I enjoy in this world, but being woken up by a loud noise is not one of them.

_BANG!_

"Wuzzgoinon?" I shrieked as I sat bolt upright in bed. I searched the room for whatever was keeping me from my warm sheets.

Ah, of course.

Marlene McKinnon was tearing through the trunk at the foot of her bed, obviously looking for something. She must have thrown the lid open loudly.

"What have you lost now, Marlene?" I croaked, still trying to calm down my heart.

She turned to me in a panic. "I can't find my white blouse!"

You know, I'm surprised Marlene could get dressed in the morning. She was the sloppiest and clumsiest person I knew. Yet she was still one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts. She had deep blue eyes that always seemed to sparkle and long black hair streaked with various colors of the rainbow. (She was kind of the wild child in her family. She'd received a Howler from her straight-laced, pureblood mother for dyeing her hair. She'd forgotten that Marlene had colored it with magic and that the streaks were removable) She was a tall and lanky, which might explain her clumsiness. Most of her lankiness came from her amazingly long legs. She knew how to use them too, which might explain the trail of broken hearts that she always left behind wherever she went.

"Your blouse is under your dresser," came a voice to my right, interrupting my thoughts. I turned to see Alice Prewett sitting primly on her bed, long blonde hair tied back in a smooth plait, her warm brown eyes watching Marlene in amusement. Her trunk had been packed the night before.

Alice and Marlene were complete opposites. Where Marlene was messy, Alice was neat. One was tall, the other short. When Marlene panicked, Alice stayed calm. Marlene forgot something every day, while Alice remembered everything. And I _do _mean _everything_. She had a photographic memory, and remembered everything she saw. Which is why she was able to tell Marlene exactly where her shirt was.

But while the two girls were very different, they were also close friends.

So I guess that just leaves me. I'm Lily Evans, Hogwarts sixth year. Long, wavy red hair, green eyes. I'm kind of in-between Alice and Marlene, physically and figuratively. When their personalities clashed, as they were bound to sometimes, I mediated for them.

_Okay, Lily, time to stop daydreaming. You're leaving today, so get your head out of the clouds._

Yes, today was my last day as a Hogwarts sixth year. The next time I stepped inside the castle would be during my last year here.

By the time I looked over again, Marlene had retrieved her blouse and thrown it in her now empty trunk, and was proceeding to dump the rest of her clothes in. "I assume you're all packed, Lily?"

I nodded proudly, then realized that her back was to me. "Yes, I am. I've even got my clothes for today laid out on top." I climbed out of bed and opened my trunk to grab them and change. My eyes wandered over my clothes and landed on the empty corner in the back. I froze. Where were they?

"Alice!" I cried frantically. "Have you seen my lucky socks?"

"They're in between your bed and the wall," she said calmly.

I rushed to the crack behind my bed and sighed in relief. There they were, sitting on the floor. I stretched my arm out as far as it could go, but I couldn't reach them. "They're too far away! I can't get them!"

Marlene sighed. "Honestly, Lily, are you a witch or aren't you?"

I gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry." I pulled out my wand and quietly muttered, "Accio Socks!" They zoomed into my hand and I quickly shoved them into my trunk. There.

You may be wondering why I was freaking out over a pair of socks. As you may have guessed by my use of the word lucky, these weren't just any socks. My mother had bought them for me the first time we'd visited Diagon Alley (yes, they still fit. Don't make fun of me and my tiny feet!). They were purple with silver crowns on them. Every time I put them on, good things would happen. I had passed all major exams with flying colors, and Michael Smith had asked me out the beginning of this year. It had ended badly, but still. He'd asked me out while I was wearing them. I didn't wear them all the time, since that would dilute the luckiness.

I quickly dressed and we all made our way down to the Great Hall. The students of Hogwarts would gather there before we left for the train. We didn't have our luggage, since they would be packed on the train before we left.

It seemed that everyone was there when we entered, including a boy leaning against the doorway.

"Alright, ladies?" drawled Sirius Black, tossing his thick, black hair out of his steel gray eyes. He was addressing all of us, but his eyes were focused on Marlene.

Sirius Black was the playboy of Hogwarts. He was very similar to Marlene in some aspects, except Lena had standards on who she'd date. Black had none at all.

She gave him a bored stare that told normal boys to buzz off.

But since when has Black been normal?

He smirked at her, making her cheeks turned a slight pink before she replied, "We were 'til you opened your mouth." I glanced at Alice out of the corner of my eye and noticed that she was looking at me. She gave an imperceptible nod, which I returned. We would confront Marlene about this later.

Sirius pouted and placed a hand over his heart. "That hurts, McKinnon."

Marlene rolled her eyes and stalked past him. Sirius turned slightly to watch her- or, should I say, her butt- walk away. When he turned back, he noticed Alice and me giving him identical glares.

"What?" he put up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm a guy, I have hormones."

"Staring at McKinnon's ass again, Padfoot?" asked a voice from behind Sirius, causing me to roll my eyes. He would show up right before I was free of him.

James Potter was the boy who had been obsessed with me since third year. He asked me out constantly and threatened any boy who ever showed an interest in me. Which is why I'd only ever gone out with Smith. I couldn't stand him.

He sauntered up beside his best friend, running his hands through his already out-of-control hair. Behind his glasses, hazel eyes were focused on me. He noticed me watching him, and gave me a slow, deliberate wink. I curled my lip in disgust and looked away.

"Aw, Evans, don't be like that," he whined.

"I'm sorry, would you rather I fall all over myself swooning over you?" I said sarcastically.

Potter smirked at me. "If you feel it's necessary."

I ground my teeth in frustration. Damn him and his clever comebacks. "It's called sarcasm, Potter. The last person I would ever swoon over is you."

"You didn't seem to have a problem fawning over Smith last term."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He's a slimy git."

"Yeah, I know. Hence the fact that we're not dating anymore. Besides, I don't even know why it concerns you."

Black let out a bark of laughter. Potter glared at him as I gave him a confused look. What was so funny about my last comment?

"You know, for being at the top of the class, Evans," Black said cheerfully, "you can be very thick."

My face grew red. Having no comeback to reply with, I stalked past him. I could feel his eyes following me, so I called out, "Stop staring at my ass, Potter!"

I heard him ask Black, "How does she always know?"

**A/N: Please review!**


	2. Summer Loving? More Like Summer Hating

**A/N: I added a huge section to this and am a lot happier. I think it establishes the relationship between Lily and Petunia better.  
Thanks to beta littlemisslilyevans.  
Disclaimer: HP is not mine. **

Summer Loving? More Like Summer Hating.

When you ask most people what their favorite season is, most will reply with summer. It's warm outside, you don't have to go to school; what's not to love?

For me, it's my sister, Petunia. Now, we used to be best friends when we were younger. She was the epitome of everything I wanted to be then. She was pretty, smart, and popular. And she still loved me, her pesky little sister. Until that day when McGonagall showed up to tell us that I was a witch.

I was ecstatic. This would make me as cool as Petunia!

But something was wrong. Her smile was not as warm, and it didn't quite reach her eyes. She started to find excuses to avoid me. Days would pass when I would rarely see her. I started to think that something was wrong.

I felt better when Severus found the letter in her room. She was just jealous! Surely I could talk to someone at the school, convince them to let Petunia in. We could both go to Hogwarts.

I tried telling this to her at King's Cross, but she exploded at me. She'd called me a freak and destroyed all hope of having a relationship like we used to. Well, not all hope. I still harbored a little thought that we might one day reconcile. I didn't tell anyone this, but kept the idea buried inside myself.

During my years at Hogwarts, I came to the realization that Petunia was not the sister I thought she was. I had idolized her and put her up on a pedestal all my life, but her betrayal had toppled the pillar holding her up. I realized that she was not nearly as pretty as I thought, and she had a vengeful streak. She could be downright cruel to some people.

But I still wanted to be close to her.

Was that weird?

I didn't think so. I think you can hate and love someone at the same time.

* * *

That summer was particularly bad.

Tuney went out of her way to make my life miserable. I think she told her friends that I was mentally disturbed or something like that, because they kept giving me strange looks when they came over. I didn't really care about what they thought, but it still hurts when your sister tells her friends that you're insane.

But they weren't too bad. Her whale of a boyfriend, Vernon Dursley, was the worst. He's rude, loud, and disgusting. Not to mention the fact that he's twice the size of a normal person. I think he's trying to make up for Petunia's lack of body mass. But the most awful thing about him was that whenever he saw me, he started telling anyone who was around what he thought I needed to be cured of insanity. Which is why I spent a good deal of my summer locked in my room doing homework. Assignments only last so long, though, so I spent the rest of my holiday in a bored stupor. The only excitement came when my Hogwarts supply letter arrived.

I was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Petunia came clattering down the stairs. Mum was cleaning up and Dad had already left for work. When Tuney saw me at the table, she stopped short. She looked as if she was about to turn around, but Mum said, "Petunia, dear, eat breakfast with your sister. You've barely seen her over the summer, and she leaves in less than a month."

Petunia gave a disapproving sniff, but sat down and poured herself a bowl of cereal. We ate in a stony silence. I had just finished and was prepared to get up and clean my empty bowl when a majestic gray owl swooped through the open window and fluttered to perch on the chair next to me. Mum gave a little start.

"All these years and those owls still startle me," she said with a little shake of her head.

I grinned at her and quickly removed the letter attached to the owl's leg. It flew out the window it had entered while I broke the seal of the letter. I pulled out the papers inside and set the envelope down. It made a clunking noise as it hit the table. I paused. Could it be...?

I opened the envelope again and tilted it. A shiny, silver badge slid into my palm, the letters "HG" were inscribed in the center. I quickly rifled through the multiple sheets the letter had contained. There was the letter welcoming me to my 7thyear, the book and supply list. But here… here was an extra sheet.

_ Dear Miss Evans,_

_ I am pleased to tell you that you have been chosen as the next Head Girl. This is quite an honor, and I expect you to thrive in this position. You were selected due to your grades, your character, and your past service as prefect. You will meet with the Head Boy on the train to discuss your duties. The prefect meeting will happen afterward. You will welcome the new prefects, outline their duties, and discuss schedules, which are attached to this letter._

_ Best Regards,_

_ Albus Dumbledore_

I couldn't believe it. I'd made Head Girl!

"Lily?" asked Mum. "Are you okay? You're rather pale."

It took me a while to find my voice. "I made Head Girl."

"That's wonderful!"she cried. "I can't believe it! My daughter, Head Girl."

I looked at Petunia for her response. Huge mistake. Her expression was a mixture of disgust and hatred. My heart slowly sank. The little seed of hope I kept buried inside withered a little when she gave me that look.

I quickly shoved the letter and badge back into the envelope and was about to run up to my room when a second owl came soaring through the window and alighted on the same chair. I was about to remove the parchment it carried when Petunia screeched, "Can't you keep those bloody owls out of the house for five minutes?"

"Petunia!" scolded Mum. "Don't talk to your sister like that!"

"I'll talk to _her_ however I want!"

I scooped up the owl and escaped to my room while Mum and Petunia got into a screaming match. Now I really was glad to be leaving soon. I shut and locked the door before setting the owl down on a bedpost and removing the letter.

_ Evans,_

_ James Potter here._

_ You're probably wondering why I'm writing to you. I am writing to offer a truce. I have a feeling that we'll be seeing a lot of each other this year, and I get tired of fighting and swapping insults. We don't have to be friends. That might be too much for you to handle. I'm merely saying that we could be acquaintances._

_ James Potter_

I read the letter a second time, and a third time. Potter, offering a truce? And what did he mean by "we'll be seeing a lot of each other this year"? Was he purposely trying to infuriate me? Well, this was Potter here, so the answer was probably yes.

And his tone! The arrogance practically leaped off the paper. I could see him writing this, a smirk on his face and a hand messing up his hair.

I had grabbed a spare piece of parchment and was about to scribble a furious "no", when I suddenly stopped. Petunia's expression of disgust appeared in my mind. Did I want to end up like her, hating others just because they were different? James Potter may have been a arrogant swot, but should I have been treating him like Petunia was treating me? I knew how much pain Petunia was causing me; was I causing Potter any? He'd always brushed off my words, but how many of them pierced his armor?

Maybe it was time to put the past behind and start over. Plus, I was Head Girl. I needed to set a good example. Hurling insults at Potter in the Great Hall would probably be a bad one.

So I sent a single piece of parchment paper.

_ Okay._

I was going to regret this later.

**A/N: Please review!**


	3. The World Ends

**A/N: There are CRUCIAL changes in this chapter, so please bear with me and read it even if you already have.  
Props to littlemisslilyevans.  
Disclaimer: HP is not mine.  
****  
**The World Ends (Not Really, But it Felt Like it)

I hurried through the crowds at platform 9 ¾ quickly, trying to find the barrier. It really wouldn't do for the Head Girl to miss the train. Though in my defense, my tardiness was not my fault. Mum had made me stay later than I should have, since she was trying to get Petunia to say goodbye. As expected, it hadn't worked, and I was in danger of missing the Hogwarts Express.

I sprinted through the station, barely missing an old woman tottering along at a pace that would make a snail jealous. She sent me a particularly venomous glare as I raced past. And I thought old people were supposed to be nice.

"Can I help you, miss?" asked a man in a blue uniform. Every year I was asked the same question, and every year I gave the same answer.

"No, I don't think you can help me," I replied, hurrying past. I always wondered if the King's Cross workers ever got suspicious, what with all the kids carrying owls, strangely dressed parents, and slew of Muggle-borns asking for Platform 9 ¾. Maybe the Ministry sent wizards to keep their memories in check. I stowed the thought in the back of my mind as I approached the barrier.

This would be the last time I would be running full-pelt at a brick wall in order to catch the Hogwarts Express. I had promised myself that morning that I would not get sentimental, but I couldn't help it. This was my last year at Hogwarts, for Merlin's sake. I did have to bury the pangs of sadness away for now, though, or I would miss my last train to school. That _would_ put a damper on my last year.

Before I boarded the train, I needed to store my trunk in the luggage compartment. Unfortunately, due to my lateness, the compartment was nearly full, and I had to try to wedge my trunk in.

"Blasted luggage," I grunted as I pushed with all my might, "why won't you fit?"

"Here," came a male voice from behind, "let me help."

_Please don't be Potter, please don't be Potter,_ I prayed as I turned around. Hey, we may have called a truce, but that didn't mean I had to like the bloke.

My eyes landed on a tall boy with sandy blond hair and bags under his eyes. Remus Lupin.

"Remus," I sighed in relief. "Thank you so much." Together we wedged my luggage on the train and boarded in the nick of time.

"I see you've made Head Girl," he said approvingly, nodding to the badge I'd pinned on my robes. "Not much of a shock there."

I blushed. "Thanks. Hey, do you know who the Head Boy is?"

"No idea," he said airily. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to meet up with my friends before the prefect's meeting."

I gave a start. "Oh! I have to meet the Head Boy before then. I'll see you around?"

He nodded and turned to walk in the other direction. I watched him enter a compartment and vanish from sight. Merlin, that boy looked more and more ill every day. Sometimes I worried about him.

Shaking that thought from my head, I turned and headed to the front of the train, towards the Head compartment. I wondered who the Head Boy would be. Hopefully not anyone from Slytherin. That would be horrid.

I had just finished shaking that thought from my head and was halfway there when someone suddenly entered the corridor and slammed into my side. I started to fall before a muscular arm wrapped around my waist and kept me upright. "Whoa, there, sorry," chuckled another male voice behind me. "Didn't see you."

I turned to see who'd assaulted me and was prepared with a scathing remark. I came face-to-face with Amos Diggory. And almost had a heart attack.

Amos was not a boy I usually noticed. He was stick thin, pale, and quiet. Somehow, he'd made the Quidditch team 5th year, but that was the only remarkable thing about him. But now...

He was _hot_. Very hot. Like, I-spent-my-whole-summer-playing-Quidditch-in-the-sun hot. His brown hair used to be shaggy, which meant he had to keep flicking his head to get it out of his eyes. He'd cut it short over the summer, and it looked very good on him. He'd grown at least three inches over the summer and now towered over me. He had pale green eyes that reminded me of grass in the summer. Merlin, why had I never paid attention to this boy?

Then I realized I had been staring at him and hadn't said a word.

Well. This was awkward. Unfortunately, being faced with an attractive boy caused my brain to malfunction.

"Oh. Um, hi Amos." _Smooth, Lily. _

He ran his hand through his now short brown hair and gave me a grin. "Hey, Lily. How's it going?"

"Fine. Look, I need to meet someone, so I'll just be going now..." I said, inching down the hall. Wait, what? Feet, what are you doing? I want to talk to this gorgeous specimen of boy!

"Then go ahead. I'll see you around?" he asked.

I made a non-committal noise before hurrying down the hall. Dammit, feet!

Well. That could have gone better.

I prayed that I wouldn't meet any more delays. It really wouldn't look good to be late to this meeting. Well, I suppose I already was. Late, I mean. Damn.

Note to self: Stop cursing. Head Girls don't curse.

I quickly entered the Head Compartment to find it empty. Phew. I wouldn't be in trouble with the new Head Boy. I started to wonder who it could be. Not Remus, since he didn't have the badge. I continued to pray that it wouldn't be a Slytherin. Or Smith. That would be really awkward.

The door opened suddenly, making me jump.

"Did I scare you, Evans?"

_Please let me be dreaming. Let me be curled up tight in my bed, and please oh please let it NOT be Potter who is Head Boy._

"Sorry, but you aren't dreaming, and I _am _Head Boy."

Damn. Did I say that out loud?

"Yes, you did."

_Note to self: Regain control over mouth._

He stepped farther into the compartment and closed the door behind him. He settled himself down onto the seat across from me as his trademark smirk made its way onto his face. He must have grown even more over the summer and would probably tower over me when we stood up. He looked as if he'd been playing Quidditch all summer as well. I may not have liked him, but I had to admit that summer had been kind to him.

But he was still totally unfit for this position. This had to be a joke.

"So, what's our first order of business?" he asked cheerfully.

"...What fresh hell is this?"

What? I'm a little slow on the uptake. So sue me.

"Pardon?"

"Who in their right mind would make you Head Boy?"

"Well, we all know Dumbledore's gone a bit off his rocker. Now we've just got proof."

Some part of me found that statement funny, and before I could help myself a small snort escaped my lips. I clapped a hand over my mouth, but (lucky me) Potter had already noticed.

"And apparently you've gone round the bend as well."

I glared at him.

"You can take your hand off your mouth. You look ridiculous."

I continued to shoot daggers from my eyes as I primly lowered my hand into my lap.

"No," he continued, "I actually don't think you've gone mental. I think it's just because of my truce. I think you want to be friends with me.

"As if. I only agreed to the truce because of the impeccable timing of that letter. Any other day I would have said no."

"Really? What happened?"

I saw Petunia's face in my mind and decided that Potter didn't need to know that. "None of your business."

"Ah, I knew the old Evans was in there somewhere."

I rolled my eyes. "You're so funny, Potter."

He leaned back, arms crossed behind his head. "I know. Took you a while to see it."

There was the arrogant Potter I knew.

Suddenly, something clicked in my mind.

"And that's what you meant by 'we'll be seeing a lot of each other'! You'd gotten Head Boy! Why couldn't you have told me in your letter? And how did you know I'd gotten Head Girl?"

"Whoa, slow down," laughed Potter, holding up a hand. "I didn't tell you in then because I wanted it to be a surprise. And I knew that you'd make Head Girl, Dumbledore would be mad not to give it to you."

I felt my cheeks turn pink. "Just like he's mad for giving Head Boy to you?"

"Huh." He looked thoughtful. "Looks like Dumbledore's mad no matter what. No-win situation for him." He grinned at me with twinkling eyes.

I felt a strange uncomfortableness under his gaze and disguised it by pulling out the prefect schedules. "I think we should get started before the prefects get here."

Potter nodded and pulled out his own copy. How he'd managed to keep track of them is anybody's guess. Though I would not be surprised if he'd paid a prefect to use theirs.

"Yes, these are mine, and no, I didn't bribe anyone to use theirs," he said, not looking at me.

Umm...that was creepy. I wonder if he could read minds.

Merlin, I hoped not.

I spluttered a bit. "I was not thinking that."

He looked up at me skeptically. "Really."

"Yes."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe I was. But can you really blame me? You don't exactly have a spotless track record regarding your ability to keep track of things."

He thought about this for a moment. "True. Which is why I tried extra hard to keep these."

Before I could say anything, he started talking about prefect schedules.

I know, I was shocked too. But he actually did pass up a chance to swap insults with me.

"So, I think we should keep the Slytherin prefects together for patrols. No one else is going to get along with them. And we need to try to keep the Hufflepuff sixth-years apart. Graves and Richardson went through a nasty break-up last term. They can't stand to be in the same room together. How about we put Graves with that Ravenclaw kid, what's his name, uh, Davis, and we put Richardson with Vance?"

I stared at him in shock. Potter was actually participating in scheduling? And he was good at it?

He noticed my expression. "What?"

I cleared my throat hastily. "Nothing." I bent back down to my parchment.

We finished organizing patrols just as the prefects started to trickle in. Thankfully there weren't any stragglers, so we managed to get started early.

"Alright, my name is Lily Evans, and I'm your Head Girl."

"And I'm James Potter, Head Boy. And yes, I know it's unexpected, and, yes, Dumbledore must have gone senile, but can we talk about that later? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we're out of here."

For the second time that day, I found myself looking at Potter in shock. Since when was he this responsible?

The meeting didn't take long, as all we had to do was outline prefect duties and hand out schedules. Before I knew it, it was over and the compartment was empty, save for me and Potter.

"Hey, Lily, you might want to find your friends. Marlene was getting kind of rabid trying to find you."

I nodded and was halfway down the corridor before it hit me:

He'd called me Lily.

* * *

I quickly found the compartment my friends were occupying. As I entered, I found myself engulfed in squeals and hugs.

"We missed you so much!" cried Alice, squeezing me tight.

"Why weren't you on the platform? We couldn't find you! And then you don't show up 'til now..." Marlene demanded. She was never one for short talk.

"I was late and barely made it on the train. And the reason I'm late here is this." I pointed to the badge on my chest, prompting another round of squeals.

"Oh, I knew it!" beamed Marlene. "You were definitely going to get it."

"Who's Head Boy?" Alice asked.

"You'll never believe it," I said as we settled down.

"Just tell us already!" begged Marlene.

"Potter."

They stared at me for a few seconds.

"Seriously?" asked Marlene. "You're not kidding?"

"Marlene!" scolded Alice, shoving her. "I think he'll be fine."

"You're just sticking up for your Quidditch Captain."

"So what if I am? He's a good leader!"

"Well, actually," I said timidly, "he handled scheduling and the prefects meeting really well."

Marlene's eyebrows lifted so high I thought they might fly off her face. Alice just looked a little smug.

"What did I tell you?"

"Okay, enough gloating. I need a lollipop."

I should probably explain my obsession with lollipops. Muggle lollipops, to be specific. I don't know what it is about them, but they're my favorite candy. I always have a few with me. I have been known to go into panic attacks if I don't have them. Yes, I know it's weird. People have told me that before.

I pulled out the candy from my pocket and offered one to my friends. Alice took the watermelon, her favorite, and Marlene took a mystery flavor, as always. I grinned when I saw what was left. They'd saved the cream soda flavored one for me, knowing it was my favorite. I unwrapped the candy and stuck in my mouth, savoring the flavor.

Alice, who was sitting next to me, nudged my side gently. When I looked over, she gave me a meaningful look. We could communicate almost silently. I knew what she was trying to say. We hadn't ever confronted Marlene about her encounter with Sirius last year, and Alice wanted to bring it up. I wasn't sure if we would find out anything, but it was worth a shot. I gave a little nod, which Marlene noticed.

"Are you doing the silent talking thing? You know I hate it when you do that!"

Alice gave a little evil smile. It's really quite frightening when directed at you.

"So, Lena, how long have you had a crush on Sirius Black?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked coolly. "I can't stand him."

She looked and sounded pretty convincing to me, but Alice is not one to give up easily.

"Liar. If you can't stand him, then why do you always blush around him?"

"I don't."

Alice lifted her eyebrows in disbelief and I knew she was about to spout off times when Marlene _had_ blushed.

Marlene must have sensed this as well, because she said, "Fine, maybe I do. That's only because I know he's checking me out and I think it's creepy."

"You know, Lena, if you did have a crush on him, we would totally be supportive of you," encouraged Alice. "Right, Lils?"

I was silent.

"Right, Lily?" She elbowed me.

"Ow! Yes, Lena. We'd be supportive."

Marlene looked as if she was about to soften and say something, but she decided against it and her mouth remained shut.

Alice, unsatisfied with what she'd gotten from Marlene, turned to me.

"What about James?"

"What about him?"

"He was doing a pretty good job back there?"

"He did okay."

"So, it seems to me that he might not be the person you thought he was."

"Yeah, right."

She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "You two are hopeless! You'll both end up as old cat ladies!"

I looked at Marlene. "Promise you'll let me live with you when it happens?"

"Of course."

**A/N: Please review!  
Yay! Longer chapters! **


	4. Lily Evans, Matchmaker?

**A/N: I combined a bunch of sections and added a few more. I like where this story is going a lot more than before, have I mentioned that?  
Props go to littlemisslilyevans.  
Disclaimer: HP is not mine.  
****  
**Lily Evans, Matchmaker?********

When I woke up the next morning, I nearly had a panic attack. I was _not_ in the 7th year girls' dormitory. Then I remembered I was Head Girl, and I had my own. Dormitory, that is. And it was a beautiful one at that.

The room was shaped as an octagon and was decorated in red and gold. The bed jutted out from one wall and was covered in all sorts of squashy pillows. There was a large window on the wall to my left and had a large desk in front of it. The dresser was across from the bed, and the door to the common area was next to it. The door to the bathroom was adjacent. All in all, not a bad room to be spending 7th year in. Even if Potter was next door.

Speaking of which, I really needed to get up so I could claim the bathroom. I was pretty sure that he wouldn't be in there at this hour, but it wouldn't stay that way for long. I grabbed a change of clothes and hurried into the bathroom.

The entire room was white. White tile, white marble, white walls...everything. It wasn't a stark white, though. It was more of a warmer color that didn't blind you when you laid eyes on it. There were two sinks on either side of the room in front of large mirrors. There was a huge bathtub in the middle, with two showers behind it. There was a door on the other side of the room that I assumed led to Potter's room. I picked one of the shower stalls and turned the water on until it was scalding hot.

I stayed in there a little longer than I should have. I had just finished wrapping a towel around myself when I heard a loud knock on the door.

"Lily! If you don't hurry up, I swear I'll just barge in!"

"Potter! Don't you dare! I'm not dressed yet!"

There was a pause. "Is that supposed to stop me?"

I gave a loud huff. "Just give me five minutes." I dried myself off and dressed quickly. "Alright, you can come in."

He swung the door open. "Finally," he sighed loudly.

I glared at him. "You are such a prat."

He tutted at me and waggled his finger. "Now, now, Lily. We called a truce, remember? No name calling."

I rolled my eyes and left the room. I finished my makeup in my dormitory, grabbed my bag, and left for the Great Hall.

As I walked, I thought about Potter. He'd called me Lily twice more. I didn't like to admit it, but it sounded kind of nice. Did that mean I needed to call him James? He didn't ask me to. But did I need for him to ask?

I didn't have time to make a decision by the time I reached the Great Hall. I pushed all thought of Potter (James?) out of my head and grabbed an apple to munch on. Marlene and Alice came down for breakfast soon after.

Alice gave me a shrewd look as she sat down next to me. "You've been keeping something from us, Lily."

Marlene looked up quickly from her bowl of cereal. The look in her eyes was absolutely terrifying, and I knew that I couldn't avoid telling them about what happened with Amos on the train.

So I summarized what had occurred, highlighting the transformation to Greek god. By the time I was finished, Marlene and Alice were both wide-eyed.

"He sounds scrumptious," cried Marlene, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of him at the Hufflepuff table.

"Are you sure we're talking about Amos Diggory? Skinny beanpole, super quiet?" asked Alice skeptically.

"No longer a beanpole, no longer that quiet. It's kinda creepy how different he looks."

At that moment, Amos decided to enter the Great Hall. An audible hush swept across the room as everyone stopped and stared. The girls looked awestruck and dazed. Most were staring at him dreamily (and I confess that I was too). The boys either didn't care or were sending him envious glares. Amos may have felt a little uncomfortable from all the staring, but he didn't show it. As he made his way to the Hufflepuff table, he saw me watching him. He smiled and gave me a friendly wave before taking his seat.

Great. Now all the girls were giving me death glares.

But it might be worth it if Amos is interested in me.

* * *

Near the end of breakfast, Professor McGonagall started handing out schedules. Marlene and I would have the same schedules, as we both aspired to be Aurors. Alice had most of our classes, along with some others, since she wanted to be a Healer. The only thing we weren't sure of was the order.

I looked down at the schedule in my hand. First class of the day was Potions with the Hufflepuffs. I suppressed a cheer. How had I gotten so lucky? One of my favorite classes with one of the best-looking guys (aka Amos Diggory). The only disadvantage would be the fact that I would have a hard time concentrating with him in the classroom.

Alice, Marlene, and I walked to Potions together and snagged a table in the middle right before class started.

"Now, then, ladies and gentlemen," announced Slughorn as he ambled in, "I want to congratulate all of you for making it to N.E.W.T level Potions. Quite an impressive feat, but you're not done yet!" He beamed at us and winked, oblivious to the fact that almost no one was paying attention. "Since some of you will be brewing Potions as part of your careers, I had an idea. Sometimes you will be brewing with another, so I have partnered you all up based on skill level."

Oh, please let Amos be horrible at potions, please, oh please, oh please...

At least I wouldn't get paired with Snape.

Was Potter rubbish at Potions? I hoped not.

What about Peter? I really didn't want to end up in the Hospital Wing on my first day.

I realized that I wasn't listening to the pairings, so I tuned back in.

"Snape and Pettigrew." I felt bad for Severus until I remembered what he'd said to me. Then I felt an irrational surge of vicious happiness. Served him right.

"Diggory and Prewett." Alice moved to sit next to Amos. I was jealous until I realized that Alice was devoted to her boyfriend Frank, who had graduated last year. Maybe this could be a good thing. I had a woman on the inside.

"McKinnon and Potter." I shot a sympathetic glance to Marlene, who was scowling at Potter. She reluctantly pulled herself up and took the seat next to him.

All the people I'd wanted and not wanted as partners were taken. Who was left for me?

"Evans and Black."

...

Hell no.

You have _got_ to be kidding me.

"Hiya, Evans," he said, plopping down on the chair Marlene had just vacated.

My vocal chords wouldn't work yet. I may have given a strangled squeak.

"No need to get to excited."

I gave a angry huff and turned to face Slughorn.

"Now, you will be brewing The Draught of the Living Dead with your partner, and will turn in what you have at the end of class. You may begin."

I skimmed the directions quickly, trying to find something for Black to do that wouldn't compromise the potion.

"Black, go get some ginger roots from the cabinet."

"No."

I turned and glared at him. He was sitting calmly in his seat with a defiant expression on his face. "And why not?" I asked irritably as I started the potion. Black would _not_ bring my grade down in this class; not if I could help it.

"First off, the word 'please' will not kill you, I promise you that. Second, I have a first name. It's Sirius, in case you forgot. And third, I _would_ appreciate just a hint of respect. I know you don't like me, and I haven't given you much cause for that. But I am a human being, so please, for the love of Merlin, treat me like one."

I blinked. I'd never heard an outburst like that from him, especially not directed to me. I was about to brush him off when, once again, I thought of Petunia. How many people had I treated wrongly? Was there someone out there who thought of me as I thought of Petunia? Maybe I could call a truce with Black like I had with Potter.

But Black was a totally different matter from Potter. At least Potter had some sense of responsibility, even if it never surfaced. Black was a flagrant rule-breaker. I couldn't call a truce with him!

Though it would look really hypocritical if I called a truce with one problem Marauder and not the other. I mean, we didn't have to be friends, we just wouldn't fight. Which meant...he couldn't pull any more pranks on me! There _was_ a bright side to this!

I ceased my internal debate to find Black, I mean, Sirius, waiting for my answer. "Well, Potter and I called a truce because we're heads, so...I guess we can do the same."

His face went from a calm, serious (one Sirius-serious pun and I will hurt you) stare to a wide grin. It was actually quite disconcerting to watch. "About time, Evans! I mean, Lily."

I must have given him a strange look when he said my first name, because he added, "What? I want you to call me by my first name; I can't do the same for you?"

"Fine. Now, _Sirius_, would you please go get some ginger roots?"

"Now, was that so hard?"

I rolled my eyes and pointed to the cabinet.

"Yes, ma'am."

As he left the table, my eyes wandered around the room.

Apparently, Peter had managed to blow up his potion yet again, despite having Snape as a partner. Part of me knew that I shouldn't be enjoying the pain of others, but the vindictive side of me really didn't care.

Alice and Amos were chatting happily while their potion brewed. Hm. I could use this to my advantage.

Right as I thought this, Amos looked my way. Instead of whipping my head around and pretending that I had not been staring (and thus been very obvious about it), I gave him a small smile. His face lit up and he grinned back. He mouthed, "Sorry," and grimaced. I assumed he was talking about having Sirius has a partner.

I grimaced back and mouthed, "Not your fault."

He grinned again and turned his attention to his potion.

I looked over to see Marlene having a conversation with Potter. They looked, dare I say it, friendly. I must not have been seeing correctly. Marlene hated Potter almost as much as I did. Why were they conversing civilly? I made a mental note to ask her later.

Sirius chose that moment to come back with the ginger roots, and all thoughts I had for the rest of the class was on the potion in front of me.

Which I got a perfect grade on.

Despite having Sirius Black as a partner.

* * *

I left the Potions classroom in a relatively good mood. That mood quickly disappeared when Sirius Black grabbed my arm.

"What do you want, Bla-Sirius?"

"Having trouble remembering that, eh?" he smirked.

"You told me an hour ago. Forgive me if I'm not that quick on the uptake."

"Ouch, Lily. This the way you treat all your friends?"

I blanched. "Who said we were friends?"

"Ah, right. Truce only. Though I know you secretly want to be my friend."

"Did you stop me just to antagonize me?"

"No." He scuffed his feet and looked a little nervous. Though it must have been a trick of the light, because Sirius Black does _not_ get nervous. "Right, well..."

"Spit it out. I haven't got all day."

"Fine. I wanted to ask you a favor."

"I'm not sneaking you alcohol or helping you break the rules, if that's what you want."

He pretended to look scandalized. "Lily! Would I do that?"

"Yes."

"Fair enough. But that's not what I want. I was hoping that you could help me get a date with Marlene."

Well. Whatever I'd been expecting, it wasn't that.

He continued. "I really like her. Have for a while now. The thing about her...well, she's different. So you don't have to worry about me breaking her heart. Though if I do, you have my permission to hex me to a pulp. But I don't think that'll be necessary, because I'm pretty sure she hates me. "

I thought about this for a moment. I already knew that Marlene had a crush on Sirius, but I hadn't thought much of it. To find that he reciprocated those feelings...well, that changed things. Marlene was one of my best friends, and I didn't want to see her get hurt. Sirius was not notorious for being considerate of girl's feelings. But to hear him talk of Marlene now...he sounded genuine. And his expression was one that I had never seen on his face. He looked as if he cared very deeply for her.

Sirius grew agitated in my silence. "Look, Lily, I've got proof. When's the last time I dated, or was involved, with a girl?"

I opened my mouth to answer immediately, but the answer didn't come. I thought back through our past few terms. The last time I could really remember was the very beginning of sixth year, with Mary MacDonald. That may not sound like a lot, but a year without dating anyone was an eternity to Sirius Black. "I see your point."

He looked hopeful. "Then you'll help?"

I sighed resignedly. If being with Sirius would really make her happy, then who was I to stand in the way? "Fine. I'll help you. But if you break her heart, I won't hex you into a pulp. I'll use the Muggle method and break your face."

He saluted me and said, "Yes, ma'am." He left down the hall with a new spring in his step.

I shook my head in disbelief and turned to go the other way, but slammed into someone. My belongings scattered everywhere as I tumbled to the ground.

"Ow," I muttered weakly, rubbing my hip. I looked up to see who had caused my fall. James Potter was standing in the hallway, looking down at me with concern.

Merlin, he must be covered in muscle if I just bounced off him like a rag doll.

Did I just think of Potter as attractive?

I hope not.

"Damn, Lily, I'm sorry. Didn't see you there."

"Obviously," I muttered while gathering my things. I reached for a textbook, only to find that Potter had already picked it up and was handing it out to me. I grabbed it to put it in my bag, our fingers brushing in the process. I felt tingles race up my arm, and I started to blush.

What was this? I'd never felt anything but disgust when Potter touched me, so what did tingles mean? I hurriedly gathered the rest of my possessions and prepared to get far away from that hallway and James Potter.

I straightened up and turned to leave.

"Wait!" I heard Potter call out.

I turned, annoyed. He was holding out three lollipops that I'd forgotten. I grabbed them quickly, muttered a quick thanks, then left as fast as I could. I needed a girl's meeting.

* * *

Girl's Meetings were a tradition dating all the way back to first year. Whenever me, Alice, or Marlene had something on our minds, we would call a meeting. Sweets were provided, and we'd just talk as long as we needed. Luckily, we were the only girls in our year, so we had the dormitory to ourselves. We didn't usually have a girl's meeting on the first day, so Marlene and Alice were anxious to find out what was on my mind.

"What's up?" said Marlene as soon as I entered the room. She was currently attacking a Chocolate Frog. One thing I've learned is that you never get in the way of Marlene and candy. This is coming from personal experience. I try not to think about that incident too often.

"Is everything all right?" asked Alice, who was nibbling on a carrot. I'm being completely serious here. She had her choice of sweets, and instead, she brings carrots. She's the only person I know who takes rabbit food to a sleepover.

"Everything's fine. Marlene, remember when we attempted to interrogate you about Sirius?"

"Yes," she said cautiously.

"Well, I have it from a very good source that he fancies you.."

Her expression remained guarded, but I could tell that her curiosity was piqued.. "What source?"

"Sirius himself, actually," I admitted.

She choked on her Chocolate Frog. Alice pounded her on the back and asked, "You're sure he wasn't joking?'

I pouted a little; I'd been waiting for a Sirius-serious joke. "He looked very genuine to me."

"Well, I'm not sure why I should care," sniffed Marlene coolly.

"Right. Because you hate him," said Alice sarcastically.

"That's right."

"Yup, it's a sure sign of loathing when you blush at the sight of the one you hate. And you choke when you learn that they like you," I said, picking up on Alice's train of thought.

Marlene stayed silent.

"That's right. Go ahead and back out of that hole you're digging," remarked Alice.

"You know, honey," I said casually, "you might want to work on your lying. It's slipping a bit."

"I still maintain my hatred for Sirius Black," said Marlene stubbornly.

Merlin, this was going to be harder than I thought.

**A/N: Please review!**


	5. My Life Begins to Suck

**A/N: Wow, this chapter is different. I hardly recognize it. I will say again, this had undergone huge revisions, so even if you've already read the first four chapters, please reread them so you know what's going on.  
Props to littlemisslilyevans. I'm sorry I didn't send you these edited versions. I was just so excited to post them and get feedback.  
Disclaimer: HP is not mine.**

My Life Begins to Suck, With or Without You

While Potions may have been my favorite class, my least favorite class came a few days later. Unfortunately, I could not avoid taking Transfiguration this year. And believe me, I had tried. For some reason, Aurors had to Transfigure things in their line of work, but I couldn't see when I would. I could just picture running from some Death Eaters, then turning and saying, "Hold on! I just need to turn this crow into a water goblet! Anyone thirsty?" Honestly.

I prayed that we wouldn't have a review test or something equally humiliating. It would be just my luck to make a fool out of myself as Head Girl. Oh, no, now I was really getting nervous. I needed to stop thinking about it.

I took my place next to Marlene and found myself wishing Alice was in this class. I needed a pep talk from her right now.

Thankfully, Professor McGonagall did not test us. We were given review instead. I was to transfigure a rabbit into a top hat.

I might not have had to take a test, but I started sweating all the same. I really was rubbish at this stuff. I slid a hand into my pocket to make sure that I had a couple of lollipops on me. I didn't need the candy, really, I just needed to reassure myself that they were there.

My hand brushed the fabric of my pocket and my hand closed on air. I'd forgotten!

My pulse started to quicken and I started breathing shallowly. I didn't have my candy. It was like my security blanket; I needed it with me. What was I going to do?

I tried to calm down. I couldn't transfigure anything if I was having a panic attack. I would be okay, not having a lollipop. I didn't _need_ them.

I pointed my wand at the bunny in front of me and tried to focus as best I could. "_Cuniculus ad petasum_."

Nothing. The rabbit stared at me and twitched its nose.

"Stop mocking me," I muttered to it.

Marlene gave me a strange look out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing. She was attempting to transfigure her bunny too.

I cleared my throat and tried again. Nada.

Now I was really beginning to panic. "_Cuniculus ad petasum!_"

The rabbit stubbornly remained a rabbit. By this time, most of my classmates had something that at least looked like a top hat. I was the only one with a whole bunny on my desk.

I was a complete and total failure. I was not going to pass this class! I wouldn't get to be an Auror, and it's not like I took the classes for any other jobs. Being an Auror was it. If I couldn't get in to the Academy, I didn't know what I would do. I couldn't live with my parents, and while I'm sure Alice and Marlene would try to help, I wouldn't make them do that.

I was going to end up living in a cardboard box.

McGonagall noticed my ongoing anxiety attack and called me up to her desk. "Miss Evans, is everything all right?"

How was I going to explain that I'd decided that I was going to end up as a penniless hobo?

To my horror, I felt tears prick my eyes. I furiously held them back. I was _not_ going to cry in front of the Head of Gryffindor House. "I'm fine, Professor." My voice wavered slightly, though, and McGonagall looked skeptical. "Really, I'm fine." My voice remained stronger this time, and she looked more convinced. She nodded, and I left for my seat.

When I sat down, I realized there was something on my desk that hadn't been there before. A red lollipop sat in front of the bunny. As soon as I saw it, all anxiety left my body. I picked it up cautiously.

"Did you see who put this on my desk, Lena?"

Marlene looked over. "Huh? Sorry, no."

I slid the candy into my pocket and patted it a few times. I realized that I still had a bunny on my desk and tried the incantation once more.

"_Cuniculus ad petasum_."

The rabbit shuddered and became a black felt top hat.

I was filled with happiness. I wasn't a Transfiguration failure!

Thanks to whoever had given me the lollipop. I would not be sitting behind a top hat if I hadn't gotten the candy. I wonder who had put it there? It had to be someone who knew of my attachment to lollipops. That narrowed the list quite a bit. It wasn't something I broadcasted.

Well, I was indebted to Mystery Lollipop Person. I don't want to think what would have happened if the lollipop hadn't appeared.

Probably end up as a hobo.

I was still trying to identify Mystery Lollipop Person (MLP for short) when I left the classroom. I was so deep in thought that I, once again, was not paying attention as I rounded a corner. I ran smack into James Potter. Again.

"Whoa, there!" he cried, grabbing my shoulder to balance himself. I shook them off, ignoring the tingling where he had touched me.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked, closely watching my face. "You started to freak out a little back there."

He had noticed? Great. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You know, it was weird. One second you were panicking, and the next, you're totally fine. What happened?"

Why did he care? I decided I wouldn't tell him. He didn't need to know.

"I'd forgotten a lollipop. Someone was kind enough to give one to me." Damn it. What was wrong with my mouth? I wasn't supposed to say that.

At this rate, I was going to end up like Hagrid.

His expression was unreadable. "Really? A lollipop? Who has a panic attack over candy?"

"I do. And it's not any of your business." Now I really was cursing my mouth.

Damn you, mouth.

See?

"May I ask why?"

No, you may not.

Unfortunately, my mouth was taking a holiday and I could not exercise any control over it.

"When I was little, I was terrified of the dark. Every time I got scared, Petunia, my sister, would give me a lollipop. The candy would help me with the fear. I've had an unhealthy attachment to them ever since."

Why was I telling him this? This was Potter. He didn't need to know.

He looked thoughtful. "That's interesting. And not as weird as I thought."

I was a bit taken aback. I had expected for him to tease me mercilessly.

Potter started to look a little uncomfortable and shifted his weight from one foot to another.

"Are you alright?" I asked. "Do you need to pee?"

Merlin, I can't believe I just asked that.

Potter cracked a small smile and said, "No. I just-well, I, uh, wanted to, uh-"

"Spit it out."

What? No one said my etiquette was amazing.

"Ileftthatlollipoponyourdesk."

"Beg pardon?"

"I left that lollipop on your desk," he said, watching me apprehensively. "I noticed that you seemed to really like them, so when you started panicking, I thought it might help you."

"But...you sit on the other side of the room."

"I levitated it. That's why Marlene didn't see."

I was silent for a moment to absorb this. James Potter left me candy to help me in Transfiguration. I tried to think of why he'd do something like that. Was there a catch? If it was anything else, I would have definitely thought so, but this seemed pretty selfless. Maybe he just was worried about me and wanted to help. What else could he gain from doing that?

"Uh, can you say something?" Potter's voice cut through my reverie. "I'm not sure whether you're going to hit me or yell at me, but either way, I'm about to start running."

I chuckled, and Potter's jaw dropped.

What? I'm capable of enjoying a good joke.

But I can see his point. I'd _never_ laughed at his jokes.

Maybe the lollipop just put me in a good mood.

"Close your mouth, you're catching flies."

Potter obeyed, but continued to give me a strange look.

"What? Stop looking at me like that. I'm glad you gave me the lollipop."

"Actually, Lily, I was wondering-"

Ah. Here came the catch. Placing the lollipop wasn't selfless.

"Maybe we could be friends?"

…

Well.

Wasn't expecting that.

Seeing my stunned expression, Potter hurried on. "I think you're really cool, and I'd like to be your friend. I know I've acted like a total ass these past years, but I've realized that. I'd like to start over."

I was speechless. Friends? Me and Potter? Was that even possible?

"You turned my hair purple in third year," I protested weakly.

Potter ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I was thirteen! All guys are asses at that age! I'm seventeen now, I like to think I'm a different person now. Please," he pleaded.

I wasn't sure what to say. I'd spent the last six years of my life hating this boy. And he wanted me to turn around and forget all that and be friends? Could I do that?

"I don't-I'm not-I can't-" I looked up at Potter in helplessness. I don't think I can.

He saw that in my eyes and his jaw tightened. "Fine. But I'm going to be the best damn Head Boy you've ever seen. Then maybe you'll reconsider." He turned on his heel and rounded the corner, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I sagged against the wall and replayed the conversation. I winced at my words and began to regret what I'd said. I'd rejected his friendship because I didn't think I could let go of six years of hate. I couldn't accept that someone might be able to change.

Just like my sister.

Oh Merlin, I was turning into Petunia.

Right as I thought this, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

Sirius Black.

"About the favor I asked?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts and compartmentalize.

"Right. Well, this is going to be harder than I thought. She won't admit that she likes you."

"You think she likes me?"

"We're pretty sure, but we need to get her to admit it. The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one."

Words I should probably take to heart.

Focus, Lily. Get back on topic.

"Are you saying that I'm a problem?" His expression reminded me of a puppy dog that had just been kicked. Not that I've ever kicked a puppy dog. It's just what I would imagine a puppy dog would look like when kicked...never mind.

"If the shoe fits..."

"What do shoes have to do with this?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Be serious," I said, bracing myself for a pun.

"I always am," he said cheekily. "What do you think I should do to get her to come around?"

"Just be yourself," I said wearily. "Not your Marauder persona, because I know that's not who you really are. Yes, I've figured you out," I added as his expression turned to disbelief. "Just be the person you are around me. You're semi-tolerable then."

Sirius stuck out his tongue at me, then grinned. "Thanks a bunch, Lily Flower!" he said, ducking my swipe at his head. He walked past me down the hall, whistling while he went.

I collapsed back against the wall and slid down until I was sitting. What was this mess I'd gotten myself into? I'd pissed James off and promised Sirius I'd get him a date with the stubbornest girl in Hogwarts.

My life sucked.

Maybe I could switch with someone else.

Any takers?

**A/N: Please review!**


	6. I Make a Really Big Decision

**A/N: Yay! A totally new chapter! Sorry it's not as long as the others, but I think you might like it. I don't think Lily and James' relationship is going too fast, but what do you think?  
****I will say again, this had undergone huge revisions, so even if you've already read the first four chapters, please reread them so you know what's going on.**  
Props to littlemisslilyevans. Again, sorry for not sending these. I was just too excited :-). Maybe you can look them over here?  
Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

I Make a Really Big Decision**  
**

Potter's first act as "the best damn Head Boy" came a week later, when I was on my way to the Head's common room after lunch for my free period. I heard a commotion down the hall. I adjusted my badge and pushed my way through the crowd that had gathered. Time for the Head Girl to perform her duties.

I was stunned by what I saw. Robert Corner and Evan Boot were yelling in each other's faces. Now, you might not care about this really, but let me put it in perspective.

Robert and Evan were both sorted into Ravenclaw their first year, and had bonded immediately. The boys were very similar, as both were intelligent and serious about their work. The pair were also friends of mine. They were practically inseparable, and to see one without the other was strange. They were the closest definition of bromance I could come up with, and I couldn't believe that they would be fighting like this.

I tried to figure out how to deal with the argument. Should I go in, deduct points, and assign detentions? That would stop the fight for now, but the conflict wouldn't go away if I did that. I could try to move them elsewhere, but knowing the population of Hogwarts, we would just be followed. What if I tried to figure out what was wrong? That could work, but would they really listen to me?

As I tried to figure the best course of action, I felt someone push past me. James Potter made his way to the two boys with a determined look on his face.

Oh no.

Please don't let Potter screw this up. Evan and Robert were good friends, and I would hate to see them as enemies forever.

A hush fell over the people gathered around the scene as they waited to see what Potter would do. He stepped in between the two boys and held them at arm's length while talking in a low voice. I strained to hear what he was saying, but I couldn't make anything out. He started to have a whispered conversation with the two boys. Robert kept pointing to Evan and speaking in hostile undertones, throwing in a wild gesture every now and then. Evan seemed more defensive, but was speaking just as heatedly. Potter's whispers were soothing and calm. After a few minutes, both boys seemed to relax. Suddenly, they were both smiling and laughing at something Potter was saying. Then, at Potter's prompting, they shook hands.

Merlin. Potter had done it. He'd diffused the fight.

He made his way over to me, looking very pleased with himself.

"Well, Lily, how did I do?"

I sputtered a bit. "I-uh, well...Merlin, Potter, what did you do?"

He smirked. "A Head Boy never reveals his secrets."

I watched him in amazement as he walked away, only stopping to pick up and return a book that a first year had dropped in the commotion.

Well. He was definitely not the worst Head Boy I'd ever seen.

Marlene and Alice hurried up to me as the crowd began to disperse. "What happened?" asked Alice.

I relayed to them what I had seen.

"See? I told you he wasn't a bad pick!" Alice crowed triumphantly.

"I guess," Marlene mumbled, a little sore that Alice was right.

"By the way, you and Potter seemed awfully friendly during Potions," I said. "Care to tell us what happened?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous," teased Alice, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

I glared at her. She just smiled sweetly at me.

"Continue, Lena."

"Well, he's not such a bad guy," she admitted. "He can be pretty decent when he wants to."

Great. Now I felt even more gulity. I turned to Alice next. "And what about Amos? You two were chatting up a storm."

"Yup. Definitely jealous."

I sighed and looked heavenward. Why was I friends with these people again?

"Just kidding, Lils. Amos and I were talking about you, actually."

Ah. So that was why. I snapped my head around so fast I think I gave myself whiplash.

"Down, girl, down," Marlene laughed.

I ignored her. "So? What did he say?"

"I'm not sure I should tell you," she said coyly. "After all, it was a private conversation."

My expression must have been rather frightening, because she immediately said, "Alright, alright! He expressed an interest in dating you."

I squealed happily.

"Now, Lily," she cut in. "I have a bad feeling about this. He kept asking about what you, your likes and dislikes. It looked as if he was filing it all away for another time."

"So? He just wants to get to know me."

"But couldn't he just ask you yourself?"

"Maybe he's just shy."

Alice remained silent, but still remained uneasy.

"Look, Al, I appreciate your concern, but I've got this."

* * *

Later that day, I was sitting on the couch doing homework in the Head Common Room. The fire was crackling merrily in the hearth as the sun slowly sank below the horizon. I was almost done with my Potions essay on the proper use of The Draught of the Living Death and its side effects. We'd been assigned the essay after our first class, but Slughorn had decided he would be nice to us before the "real" N.E.W.T work kicked in. Though I wasn't sure how assigning a two-foot essay was being nice, despite the fact that we were given a week.

I heard the portrait hole swing open and shut. Potter was back from Quidditch practice. Instead of hearing his loud voice, I merely heard his footsteps on the carpet as he approached.

"Do you mind?" he asked quietly as he gestured to the spot next to me.

We hadn't spoken since that day in the hall. This might be a good time to make amends.

I shook my head. He sat down and pulled out a roll of parchment, a quill, and a pot of ink. I snuck a glance at the paper and saw that he was working on his Potions assignment as well.

He saw me peeking and said ruefully, "Two whole feet on The Draught of the Living Death. I can't think of much else to say other than 'it knocks you out'".

I gave a small smile. Truth be told, I'd been thinking the same thing myself. I turned back to my parchment and he did the same.

We spent a whole hour working quietly side-by-side on the couch. After I finished my essay, I got to thinking about the fight I'd seen today. Potter had done a much better job than I had. While I'd been standing there, unsure of what to do, he'd barged right in and taken immediate control. He'd done a marvelous job. It may have been one action, but it had made an impression. He was serious about this Head Boy business. Maybe...

I think he truly wanted to be my friend. Even with all the crap he'd put up with since this year began. I'd acted like my sister, being all judgmental and holding grudges. That was the exact opposite of who I wanted to be. Maybe being friends with James would help distance me from her.

And if this turned out to be a huge, elaborate prank?

Well, I just hoped it wasn't.

Suddenly, Potter's knee brushed up against mine. I felt electricity shoot up my leg from the spot where it had touched me.

There were those damn tingles again. I made a note to ask my friends about them, but decided against it. They'd probably tease me about it.

I examined Potter's face as he leaned over to scribble something on his parchment. His black hair stuck up all over the place, like always. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier. It annoyed me a little, but at least I knew he wasn't doing it to impress me. His glasses sat low on his long nose, and he pushed them up as he worked. I noticed a little scar running down his jaw. I wonder where that had come from?

I shifted my gaze to somewhere across the room and continued to think. It seemed I had had an epiphany: Potter was not the person I'd made him out to be.

"A Galleon for you thoughts."

I snapped out of my daze and looked around. Potter had finished his essay and was watching me.

"A Galleon? That's kind of expensive."

"Well, you were sort of zoned out, so I figured they were good, deep, ones."

"They were."

There was silence for a moment, then-

"What were you thinking about?"

Should I tell him the truth? Or lie? Before I could make up my mind, my stupid mouth decided for me. "You."

He looked surprised. "Me?"

"Yes. How come you never showed me who you really were before?"

He looked slightly amused. "Maybe you were never really looking."

"Yeah."

There was another pause before I spoke again. "I was being an ass too."

His eyebrow lifted in confusion.

"Just as I've put up with crap from you, you've put up with crap from me. I've been acting too much like my sister. I was stupid to reject your friendship because I thought I couldn't let go of six years of hate. I'm not my sister. I'm not going to be judgmental. What I'm trying to say is, I would like to be your friend. Though if this is just a big prank, I _will_ hex you into oblivion."

His face broke out into a large grin. "There's the Lily I know. I was afraid the aliens had taken you over."

"I'm being serious!"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm really glad you reconsidered."

I gave him a small smile.

"Now, you have to start calling me by my first name. None of this Potter business."

"All right...James."

His name felt nice on my tongue.

This was extremely weird, but I felt that Potter, no, James, and I could become good friends.

Later, as I was preparing for bed, I discovered that I had been wearing my lucky socks that day.

Hm. That was interesting.

**A/N: Please review!**


	7. My Socks Screw Me Over

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait; I was plagued by a nasty case of writer's block. Thankfully, I got my inspiration back. Luckily for you, I have the next couple of chapters already written, so the wait shouldn't be too long.**

**This will be the last chapter that my beta is looking over. A huge thank you to littlemisslilyevans for beta-ing. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to the oh-so-talented J.K. Rowling.**

My Socks Screw Me Over

I took a little more care with my appearance the next day. Tomorrow was the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, and if Amos was going to ask me, today would be the day. When I was satisfied, I left my dorm to find James waiting for me.

He took one look at me and asked, "Trying to impress someone?"

"Not really," I replied casually. Hey, we might have been friends, but I was _not _sharing my love life with him.

"You know, Lily," he said, as we made our way to the Great Hall, "lying does not become you."

"Well, it's none of your business," I snapped.

"Glad to see our friendship hasn't tempered that temper."

"Just because we're now friends doesn't mean I share everything with you."

He looked a little thoughtful. "That's true."

When we walked through the doors of the Great Hall, together, talking amicably, I think the whole Hall went silent.

What was everyone's problem?

James leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Think about it, Lily. We've been fighting for years, and now we walk in like pals?"

Ah. Yeah, that would do it.

I searched for Marlene and Alice. Marlene had knocked over her pumpkin juice and seemed oblivious as it dripped off the table. She was too busy staring at me and James in shock. Alice just looked really smug.

I cautiously left James' side and slid into the seat next to Alice. I figured that she would be safer than Marlene.

Finally, the Hall started to unfreeze as people turned back to their breakfasts. Marlene seemed to snap out of her trance and pounced on me.

"Were you going to tell us about this anytime soon?" she screeched as Alice cleared the juice with a flick of her wand.

"Relax. We just decided that being Heads would be easier if we were friends."

"Oh, is that all?" asked Marlene sarcastically. "Lily, this is a huge deal!"

"I can understand the whole 'enemies-to-friends' in, like, a month is big. But, please don't make a fuss over this."

Marlene turned her head to look at Alice with an amazed look on her face. "She wants me to…I mean, this is-"

"I know," Alice soothed. "Look, Lily, next time something like this happens, just let us know ASAP. Okay?"

I nodded. I did kind of see what a big deal this was, but I still didn't think Marlene should be freaking out this much.

I felt a tapping on my shoulder. Amos was standing behind me, looking slightly nervous.

_It's about time_, I thought silently_._

"Hey, Lily, can I talk to you?"

"Sure," I replied, slipping out from the bench. We left the hall and Amos stopped next to the intimidating-looking statue outside the doors. I think the person the statue was commemorating used to be an old Headmaster. He looked strict enough. I felt like his little marble-y eyes were boring straight through my skull.

Hmmm. Probably not the best spot for a talk.

Amos didn't seem to notice my discomfort and immediately started talking. "So, you know that the Hogsmeade trip is tomorrow, right?"

What was I, an idiot? Of course I knew. I chalked up his stupid question to the effects of Mr. Creepy Statue.

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to um, maybe…"

_Spit it out already._

His hand crept up to rub the back of his neck, and he watched me out of the corner of his eye. "Uh, d'you want to go with me?"

I smiled at him. "Sure. Pick me up at 10?"

He gave a sigh of relief and said, "Yeah, that sounds great. I'll see you then?"

I nodded and he smiled. "Right, well then, I'll just-" He awkwardly broke off and gestured down the hall.

"I'm going to wait for my friends, you go ahead."

It was his turn to nod and he started off down the hall. I turned my focus to the Great Hall entrance and started dissecting our conversation. While I thought his bashfulness was cute at first, it got kind of annoying. I wanted a guy to be sure he liked me, and while Amos might, he didn't show it very well. I just hoped our date went better than our awkward little encounter.

"Lily!" called James. He'd just left the Great Hall and was heading towards me. "Amos just asked you to Hogsmeade." There was an implied question in the statement.

"Yeah, he did. How could you tell?"

"Bloke looked like he was about to wet his pants when he was walking over to you."

I gave a very unladylike snort at the mental picture that caused.

His smile turned into a grimace as he looked over his shoulder at the marble monstrosity behind him. "Can we get out of here now? That statue always gives me the heebie-jeebies."

* * *

It was 9:45 on Hogsmeade morning and I had nothing to wear.

I gave a strangled whimper as I stared hopelessly at the piles of clothes littered around the 7thyear girls' dorm. I'd dragged my trunk over a few hours ago since Alice and Marlene had insisted on helping me.

Fat lot of good that was.

"Help me!" I cried as I threw myself onto a bed.

Marlene poked her head out of the bathroom. "We did your makeup and hair. All you need to do now is pick an outfit. It's not that hard."

"Says Miss-I-can-roll-out-of-bed-and-look-fabulous," I muttered as I climbed of the bed and reassessed my wardrobe.

"Damn straight," she replied cheekily, winking at me.

"Lena, if you can roll out of bed and look great, what's all the extra effort for this morning? Or should I say, who?" asked Alice, exiting the bathroom with her makeup bag.

"No one," she said stiffly.

"Right," Alice and I drawled simultaneously.

Marlene disappeared back into the bathroom, muttering something about "demon twins".

"Well, let's see," Alice said thoughtfully, rubbing her chin. "You can't wear red or pink, of course…"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

She glared at me. I meekly zipped my lips.

If you're thinking I'm a pushover right now, you've never been at the receiving end of one of Alice's stink eyes.

She closed her eyes, and I knew she was flipping through her reservoir of mental photographs. "How about you wear that green V-neck t-shirt over that plain white long-sleeved one, and then you can wear that black jean skirt?"

I gaped at her. "Merlin, Alice, you're a genius."

She smirked. "I know."

I quickly rummaged through the fabrics piled throughout the room and came up with the selected pieces. I threw them on as quickly as I could without disturbing my hair (a sleek ponytail with a few curled strands framing my face) or makeup (carefully selected to look natural). I raced out of the dorm, but Alice stopped me on the stairs.

"You're going to leave me with this mess?" she cried, looking stricken. I sighed and pointed my wand back in the room. My wardrobe flew through the air and landed in my trunk, neatly folded.

"Better?"

"Much."

I hurried down to the Entrance Hall, but Amos wasn't there. I checked the time; I'd gotten here promptly at 10. Amos had a little leeway, though I did _not _like tardiness.

Ten minutes later, Amos ambled into the Hall. I had to admit, he did look good. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt and tan shorts. I marveled again at his physical transformation. This boy was yummy.

"Do you like Quidditch, Lily?"

Oh no. Please, Merlin, no.

I slowly began to change my mind about his yumminess as we walked down to Hogsmeade. All Amos would talk about was Quidditch. His two favorite topics were "A Million Goals Scored by Amos Diggory" and the Tornadoes, his favorite team. Every now and then he'd throw in some tidbits about the Hufflepuff team.

Now, I don't hate Quidditch, don't get me wrong. I go to all the school games, and I can follow along pretty well. I just don't believe in analyzing the sport to death, something Amos seemed pretty keen on doing.

"Now, Callahan does pretty well, but they really need to work on his relationship with the other Chasers. He's more focused on making all the goals himself, but it's a team sport…"

I tuned him out again. I think he was talking about the Tornadoes, but I didn't really care. I just nodded and threw in the occasional "Hmm" or "Yeah" to keep him satisfied.

Me? I was bored to tears. I looked down at the road in front of us and hoped that the date would pass quickly. With a jolt, I realized I wasn't wearing my lucky socks. The only shoes that worked with the outfit were a pair of white flats. I couldn't wear the socks with them, but Alice and Marlene had assured me that I wouldn't need them.

I was royally screwed.

We stopped for drinks at the Three Broomsticks, and Amos continued his endless Quidditch commentary. "I remember there was this one goal that was very tricky. It was that match against Ravenclaw. Their Keeper, Smith, is really quite good, and I knew I was going to have a hard time, so I tried to fake him out. I went right first…"

I nodded and tried to look as if I was somewhat interested. A very difficult task, assure you.

I've got it! If this Auror thing didn't work out, I could totally become an actress.

I scanned the restaurant, looking for people who could save me. James, with his impeccable timing walked in right then. He saw me with Amos, and a hint of a scowl passed over his face before he smiled at me. I mouthed "Help me!" to him and prayed that he could read lips.

Even if he couldn't, he saw the distress on my face and understanding dawned on his. He strode over to our booth.

"Excuse me, Diggory, but I need to steal Lily today. You see, I've put off my Potions essay, and it needs to get done today. I really need her help."

Amos looked up at him with a scowl. "I'm sure you can manage," he said scathingly.

"Actually," I cut in loudly, sliding out of the booth. "I think I'd better help him. I'll see you around?" I dragged James out behind me, not waiting for an answer.

Once we were outside, I dropped his hand, ignoring the sparks that shot up my arm. "Oh Merlin, thank you, James. If I heard 'Quidditch' one more time, I was going to slit my wrists."

"Looks like I was your knight in shining armor."

I snorted. "Rusty armor, maybe."

"Hey!" he cried indignantly. "Is that anyway to treat your rescuer?"

"You're right," I ceded. "By the way, that story about your Potions essay was great. I think he bought it."

"Actually," James said sheepishly, "I, uh-"

I gave him a disbelieving look. "James, you didn't."

"No! It's not what you think! I _did _write it. But all the words I write come out wrong. Think you can help me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it's not like I've got anything else to do."

"Glad to see you enjoy spending time with me."

Actually, I didn't want to admit it, but the prospect of spending an afternoon with James was not as abhorrent as I once found it. Merlin knows it was better than Mr. Quidditch Fanatic.

I felt a nudge at me side. "Look," whispered James, pointing across the street. Sirius and Marlene were walking side-by-side. Sirius said something and Marlene laughed, her whole face lighting up.

"About damn time," I muttered.

"You knew about this?" asked a flabbergasted James.

"Yeah. Sirius begged ' me to play matchmaker."

"Well, it's a miracle they actually ended up liking each other."

I paused. "Hey! I can be a great matchmaker!"

He lifted as eyebrow. "Says the girl I just rescued from a disastrous date."

"Touché," I admitted. That really was a bad date.

we reached the Head dorms, James pointed to the essay lying on the coffee table in the center of the room. I sat down on the couch and picked it up, quickly scanning through it.

A couple things were obviously wrong.

"Since when is your name 'Jiminy Pooter'?" I asked.

"It's not! Every time I try to write," he gestured to the quill that had been lying next to the parchment, "every word comes out wrong!"

"I thought you were having trouble wording your ideas. I didn't know you meant literally."

"Can you help me?" he begged. "I spent a good two hours of my life on that paper, and I _don't _want to rewrite it."

I pulled out my wand and tapped his name. The letters rearranged themselves, morphed into other letters, or disappeared if they weren't needed. I worked in silence, only stopping to ask what James meant to say in certain parts. Before too long, a perfectly worded essay sat in front of us.

"You're the best, Lily!" he cried, wrapping me in a hug. He smelled like Quidditch and cologne, and intoxicating mixture that left my brain slightly fuzzy.

As he pulled away, he asked, "What's the deal with that quill, anyway?"

"It's a really old Spell-check quill. It does more harm than good now."

His eyes grew steely. "Did someone give it to you?" I asked curiously.

"Sirius," he growled.

"Just don't hurt him."

He looked a little thrown at that. "What?"

"When you prank him back. Just don't hurt him."

A slow smile grew on his lips. "Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but it sounds like you care about Sirius."

I spluttered. "It doesn't really matter-I mean, I don't-"

He placed a finger over my lips. "It's okay," he said, winking at me. "I won't tell him."

I nodded weakly, trying to disregard the fact that his finger on my lips was causing my whole body to heat up.

I really needed to find out what the hell was going on.

**A/N: Reviews make me post the next chapter sooner!**


	8. Everything Begins to Unravel

**A/N: Yay! A quick update! **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

Everything Starts to Unravel

I spent the next week trying to avoid Amos as much as possible. According to Marlene, he was very disappointed that our date had been cut short and wanted to "make it up to me".

I would really rather kiss the Giant Squid.

"You know," said James in exasperation as I ducked behind him for the fifth time that day, "This is getting ridiculous. You know he's not in the Slug Club, right?" James and I had run into each other at the Slug Club (the second of the year), and since none of our friends were there (Marlene, Alice, Sirius, and Peter weren't members, and Remus was ill), so we decided to stick together.

What I'm trying to clarify is that this is not a date.

"Last time I checked, he wasn't. But that could have changed, or someone might have brought him," I said as I peeked over his shoulder and, satisfied that Amos wasn't anywhere to be found, relaxed.

"You could just tell him you're not interested."

"I don't do well with confrontation."

He gave me a skeptical look. "What would you call those screaming matches we got into?"

"Okay, fine. I only argued with you because you fought back. I don't do well with pouting and sadness. And Amos strikes me as a pouter."

He rolled his eyes, smiling. "So you're just going to avoid him all year?"

"That's the plan."

He suddenly stopped and turned to face me. "I've got a deal for you."

"Go on," I prompted.

"If Gryffindor beats Slytherin this weekend, you confront Amos and tell him you're not interested. If they win, you can continue using me as a human shield." He stuck out his hand, and I considered my options.

It was a lose-lose situation for me. If Gryffindor won, I would have to talk to Amos. If Slytherin won, then my house would have lost. But, I realized that I would have to talk to Amos sooner or later.

"Hell, why not?" I asked, shaking his hand.

He grinned. "Be prepared for confrontation."

My witty retort was held back by the arrival of Professor Slughorn, who was dragging a rather feeble-looking wizard with a little poof of white hair behind him. "Lily, my dear pupil, I have someone here that you simply must meet!"

I could feel James inching away as they approached, and I shot out a hand to try to keep him from escaping. My hand met empty air, and when I peeked out of the corner of my eye, he was halfway to the drinks table. "Sorry," he mouthed, looking absolutely unapologetic.

Bugger.

I turned my full attention to the pair in front of me, flashing an utterly fake smile. "Hello, Professor. Who's this?"

"This, my dear, is Damocles. He's just developed a terrific new potion that might revolutionize the world!"

I feigned interest, though I really didn't give a damn. "And what is this potion?"

Damocles opened his mouth to answer, but Professor Slughorn barreled right over him. "He's created a Wolfsbane potion. This concoction allows werewolves to maintain some semblance of control during their transformation, which could drastically reduce werewolf violence! This potion has a mother-of-pearl hue, and gives off faint blue smoke, which, as you know, is a very rare color combination. It's really quite difficult to brew, but I'm sure a student such as yourself would have no trouble. I've also heard that it tastes unpleasant, but that's not a significant drawback considering the benefits of such a brew…"

I tuned out as he prattled on, amusing myself by watching Damocles try to add a word or two. As soon as his mouth opened, Slughorn would plow on to his next sentence. I felt sort of bed for the man, but he looked like a wispy twig. Every time I thought about that, I had to stifle a giggle.

"Excuse me, Professor, but can I borrow Lily here for a minute?" came a male voice behind me.

"Certainly, my boy!" beamed Slughorn. He immediately started searching for a new student to monopolize.

_Please be James, please be James_, I thought as I turned around.

…I never thought I would wish that.

Unfortunately, James was not behind me. Amos was.

Merlin, what have I done to you to deserve this?

"Hey, I wanted to apologize for our date. I'm sorry it was cut off, and I was wondering if you wanted to try again sometime." He flashed me a dazzling smile, but all I could think about was that mouth rambling on and on about Quidditch. I internally shuddered and tried to think of the nicest way to tell him that I believed he was the most boring person I'd ever conversed with.

Yeah, this is gonna be tough.

"Look, Amos, I'm not sure if that's a good idea," I said carefully. His face fell, and I rushed on. "I'm just not as interested in Quidditch as you, and you need someone you can talk to about that. Look, there's Amy Johnson, I'm sure she'll be interested." I gave him a little push in her direction and shooed him away before he could argue.

I heard a slow clapping behind me. "Bravo," drawled James.

"So much for knight in shining armor," I said sarcastically.

"I thought we agreed I had rusty armor? Besides, you seemed to do just fine."

I smacked his shoulder. "Don't mock me."

"So I guess this means our deal is off?"

"You still have to win, you know that, right?"

He gave me an "are-you-really-that-stupid" look. "Yes, the Quidditch Captain is aware."

"Just checking."

* * *

I watched Alice stare at her plate in anxiety and sighed. "Honestly, Al, you need to eat something. It'll help you play better."

She reached for a grape and popped it into her mouth. "There, happy?" she asked once she'd swallowed.

"No. You're acting like a child, you know."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Lily, but I can never eat before a game."

"I know. But it won't stop me from trying."

She smiled and gestured down the table. "When do you think we need to kidnap her?"

I looked over and immediately understood what she was talking about. Marlene had ceased to sit with us during meals. Her new spot was next to Sirius.

I know, shocker, right?

Apparently her outing at Hogsmeade had tuned into an accidental date with Sirius. She'd managed to be civil and friendly, but they weren't officially dating, or something like that. I was a little sketchy on the details.

We missed our friend.

"We'll plan an intervention for Monday. Sound good?" I asked, absent-mindedly spearing a strawberry on my fork.

Alice nodded and went back to staring at her empty plate.

Our silence was interrupted by James, who stood up and said, "Alright, team! Down to the locker rooms!"

"Good luck," I whispered.

Alice gave a small smile and followed her team. I saw Marlene lean out and squeeze her arm.

"Prewett!" called James, waiting at the doors.

She hurried over, giving one last wave to me and Marlene.

I nibbled at my food for a little while longer before heading down to the Quidditch pitch early, to snag a good seat. You wanted to sit in the middle, not right behind the goal posts, because there was a chance that you might get pegged by a Quaffle that'd just been chucked through the hoops. And believe me, it had happened before.

As I sat waiting for the game to start, I thought about the recent developments in my relationship with James. Specifically, those damned tingles. I knew that James was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with, since he'd gone a whole month without asking me out. He also seemed very comfortable with our new friendship. I had been pleasantly surprised with his new behavior. I now counted him as one of my closer friends, something I had never thought would happen. I was happy with this friendship, but I couldn't ignore those sparks.

There may have been a slight possibility that I was physically attracted to James.

As much as I wanted to throw this possibility out the window, the evidence was too great. I tried to think of him as the annoying stalker who had made my life hell for six years, but it was impossible. He simply was no longer that person. I couldn't deny that he was attractive. But I'd always prided myself in being the one female in Hogwarts that could resist his good looks. But it looked as if that was no longer the case. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I couldn't even imagine wanting to be with James. He was a good friend, but I just could not fathom dating him. Our shift from enemies to friends had been meteoric, and now I was already feeling sparks.

What was it with that boy?

One thing I knew for sure was that I was just going to ignore the tingles. They confused me and made life more difficult.

I had just reached this conclusion when the commentator's voice boomed out over the pitch. "Welcome to the first Quidditch match of the season!" Nathaniel Abrams was a level-headed Hufflepuff who was very good as pushing biases aside, hence his position as commentator. "The Slytherin team comes first: Chasers Bullstrode, Parkinson, and Williams, Beaters Flint and Goyle, Keeper Matthews and Seeker Davis."

The Slytherin team streaked out onto the field, showing off for all they were worth. I rolled my eyes as screams erupted from the green and silver clad section. Honestly, I didn't see the point in showboating. The point of Quidditch was working as a team, not how well you flew individually.

"Here comes the Gryffindor team: Chasers Brown, Johnson, and Potter, Beaters Black and Spinnet, Keeper Ericson, and Seeker Prewett." I cheered like a maniac as Alice's name was called. The Gryffindor team flew out as a unit, speeding around the pitch as a team. Apparently, James shared my thoughts on showing off.

Both teams descended to the ground. James and Flint dismounted to shake hands, meaning they would try to squeeze the other the death. Madame Melvyn gave her usual lecture on sportsmanship before releasing the Snitch and Bludgers. I saw Alice try the follow the flying golden ball as best she could as she prepared for the whistle. Madame Melvyn tossed the Quaffle up, the shrill whistle pierced the air, and the game began.

"Potter snatches the Quaffle out from Bullstrode's fingers before passing it to Brown, who barely manages to dodge a Bludger aimed by Goyle. Brown attempts to score…and Matthews blocks it! Parkinson takes possession and passes to Williams."

"Did I miss anything good?" asked Marlene as she took the seat next to me.

"No, the game just started; no one's scored yet. Where were you?" I asked, taking my focus off the game.

She blushed, and I knew instantly that it had something to do with Sirius. "I was just wishing the team luck."

"And by luck you mean Sirius." My question came out more as a statement.

She blushed an even deeper shade of pink.

"I knew it. Did this good luck include any words?"

She gave me a confused look. "Of course it did, how could I…" Understanding and embarrassment dawned on her face as she realized what I'd been implying. "Hey!"

I laughed. "I was just asking. You seemed to have reached that stage."

"I don't really want to talk about it."

This shocked me. Usually Marlene was all for spilling every gory detail about her relationships; the fact that she was reluctant to share about this one was huge.

"He's different, isn't he?" I asked softly.

She sighed. "Yeah. I dunno what it is about him, but I want this to turn out right. I don't want it to be like my others."

"I think I know why." She gave me a curious look. "You're too similar. You know how he treats girls, and he knows how you treat guys. That's why it's taken you so long to admit what you're feeling. You don't want to hurt each other, and you both know you have the capability to do just that. That's why you're being extra careful."

She was silent for a while as she contemplated what I'd said. "When did you get to be so smart?"

"About the time that you decided to have a serious relationship."

We smiled at each other before turning back to the game.

As Quidditch games went, this one was, for lack of a better one, abysmal. James had seriously underestimated the skill of the Slytherin Keeper. As well as the Gryffindor Chasers played, they just couldn't score enough goals. And our Keeper was not playing very well. By the time Alice had spotted the Snitch, Slytherin was thoroughly beating Gryffindor, 240 to 90. If Alice caught the snitch now, we would tie. We desperately needed one more goal.

James had managed to grab the Quaffle and was making his way down the pitch. Alice was neck-and-neck with Davis in pursuit of the Snitch.

Merlin, could James fly any slower? I needed to do something.

"DAMMIT JAMES! SCORE!"

James looked around until he saw me in the stands. He nodded at me, winked, and with inhuman-like speed, shot towards the Quidditch hoops. He seemed the stare intently at the right hoop, sending Matthews to guard it. I almost groaned aloud at his obviousness, but suddenly, without even looking, he sent the Quaffle flying toward the left hoop. Matthews didn't even have a chance. The Quaffle flew in, and Gryffindor had 10 more points.

Five seconds later, Alice triumphantly pulled out of her dive. She displayed the Snitch proudly as Marlene and I screamed our heads off. We'd won!

Alice began her victory lap, proudly displaying the Snitch for all to see. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Flint swinging his Beater's bat in disappointment. At least, I thought that's what he was doing, until I saw the Bludger speeding directly for Alice.

"WATCH OUT!" I cried, trying desperately to let Alice know what was happening. She pulled up short, looking a little confused.

But it was too late. I could hear the sickening crack of the Bludger on Alice's skull. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slid from her broom, plummeting towards the ground.

"Alice!"

**A/N: Sorry. I couldn't resist. Luckily, I have most of the next chapter written. Reviews make me finish and post it faster.**

**What are your favorite parts of the chapters? I love it when you guys tell me. It really makes my day and puts a smile on my face.**

**Btw, I know that the Wolfsbane potion was not invented while James and Lily were in school. But for the sake of my story, let's just pretend it was.**


	9. Murphy's Law

**A/N: As promised, the next chapter! Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter; you guys really put a smile on my face.**

**I hope you readers like where this is going. I don't like the idea of Lily and James being enemies most of their seventh year. So, I thought I'd try them being friends.**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

* * *

Murphy's Law

_But it was too late. I could hear the sickening crack of the Bludger on Alice's skull. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slid from her broom, plummeting towards the ground. _

_ "Alice!"_

Screams erupted from the pitch as people began to notice. The Gryffindor team began looking around, confused. The Slytherin team didn't really care.

James saw her first and started a steep dive.

"He's not gonna make it," I gasped as I clutched Marlene's arm.

"He has to," cried Marlene, on the brink of tears.

James managed to catch up to Alice, and managed to gracefully slide her onto his broom. He immediately started slowing down and pulling up. The other members of the Gryffindor team hovered around him, acting as spotters for the unconscious Alice. Madame March was already hurrying onto the field, a little bed levitating beside her. Madame Melvyn had focused her attention on Flint, and was now screaming at him and gesturing wildly. My guess was that he'd receive a Quidditch ban for the rest of the year. Served him right.

Marlene and I were on the field by the time James touched down.

"No one touches her," ordered March sternly. "I don't know the extent of the head injury." She made a complicated little gesture with her wand, and a neck brace materialized.

Marlene burst into tears when she saw the brace. I wrapped my arms around her as I stared at Alice. She had to be okay. I couldn't imagine going through the year without calm, rational Alice. She was the one that kept us both straight. If she was gone…

Cue the tears and hysterics.

"You'll have to wait to see her, girls," said March sympathetically. "I'll send for you." She turned and gently guided Alice off the field.

It seemed like an eternity, but Madame March finally sent for us. We'd explained the situation to the teachers and had been excused from class. We were sitting outside the hospital wing, waiting for Madame March's okay. As soon as she opened the door, Marlene and I raced in.

I almost burst into tears again when I saw the ugly, white bandage wrapped around her head. March noticed my distress and said, "Her head injury is not severe. She'll be fine."

I nodded and sat down. We held her hands for an hour until the Quidditch team cautiously poked their heads in.

"Only two visitors at a time, dears," she reprimanded. Marlene nodded and got up. "I need to get to class," she murmured. "I'll see you later?"

I nodded again and she left, letting James take her place. "Thank you," I whispered.

He shook his head. "I was just looking out for my teammates."

"Thank you anyway." I stood up; now that I'd seen her and knew it wasn't serious, I felt better about leaving. "I'll see you at patrol tonight?"

"Yeah."

* * *

That night's patrol was a disaster. Now, normally my patrols with James were pleasant affairs.

…Okay, so the first few were slightly awkward. But we'd settled into a pattern that I'd gotten used to. Hell, I'd started to look forward to them.

We met in the Entrance Hall, like always. I felt much calmer about the whole Alice situation; I was just quieter than normal. I'd discovered that when I was upset about something, I would clam up. Alice would rationalize and use logic, and Marlene would soon become hysterical. I just bottled everything up until it all blew over. I'm not sure it was the best coping mechanism, but it seemed to work.

James, I soon figured out, liked to pretend nothing was wrong. He was currently griping about Gryffindor's performance during the Quidditch match.

"I honestly thought Ericson was up to the task! I must have overlooked something, cause he could barely block anything out there. If he doesn't shape up, I'm going to need to replace him."

I'm getting flashbacks of Amos and that disastrous date. At least James' rambling meant that I wouldn't have to say anything.

"I'm just glad Alice managed to catch the Snitch when she did. Though honestly, it would have been better if she'd caught it a little later; we could've used a safety net."

"You dare criticize Alice right now? She caught the Snitch at the right time, and we won. Let's leave it at that!"

"Sorry, I'm just saying that everyone could have played a little better today."

I rounded on him impatiently. I did like Quidditch, but sometimes the lengths to which some people took it sickened me. "Alice is seriously injured and is in the hospital wing right now, and you're going to gripe about her playing? She could be dead right now!"

James wisely decided to keep his mouth shut after that.

We wandered down a hallway that was prone to affectionate couples after hours. James checked behind a couple tapestries while I threw open the doors of a nearby broom cupboard. Nothing.

I leaned against the windowsill at the end of the hall and gazed out while James completed his tapestry search. The full moon illuminated the grounds with its silvery light, giving everything a shadowy, mysterious feel. A few trees in the Forbidden Forest swayed ominously in the slight breeze.

James came up behind me and peered over my shoulder.

And swore loudly.

"James! What the hell?"

'Look, Lily, I'm really sorry, but I need to go. Right now."

"What? Why?"

He chewed on his lip in anxiety. "I can't tell you."

Um, excuse me? "What do you mean?"

"I just-I really need to leave right now. Can you cover for me?"

He wasn't going to tell where he was going, and then he expected me to cover for him? "I don't think so. Just tell me what's wrong."

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

Now he looked really anxious. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot and was inching down the hall. "I really wish I could tell you, and believe me, if I could, I would. But it's not my secret to tell!"

"Now we're dealing with secrets?"

James stared at me resignedly with an exhausted look in his eye. "This is killing me right now, Lily."

"Well, it's not killing me," I lied. "I really thought you'd changed; that you actually wanted to mature. But I can see now that it was all just a ploy to cozy up to the Head Girl. What, you thought being in my good graces would help get you out of trouble?"

James looked down at his shoes for a moment, and when he lifted his gaze to meet mine, his expression was fixed in a stony stare. "I really did want to be your friend, Lily. I see now that it might have been a mistake. I don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't trust me. And this is something that requires your trust." And with that, he turned and quickly strode down the hall. Before he reached the end, he turned. "Oh, and Lily? It's not a prank, I can assure you. I haven't pranked anyone since fifth year. But then, you've been too busy hating me to notice." He rounded the corner, and out of sight.

I cannot believe I'd been so gullible. I was so quick to swallow his lies about growing up and wanting to know me. This was just like him! I knew I'd made a mistake the moment he'd offered the truce. And the nerve he had, yelling at me, as if this was all my fault! He was the one who was skiving off patrol for some illicit activity!

But as I trudged back to my dorm, I realized that his betrayal hurt more than I thought it would.

What was the saying? Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong? Oh yeah, Murphy's Law.

…

Screw you, Murphy.

* * *

That morning, I discovered a lollipop on my desk. A note was attached.

_I'm sorry._

I snorted and crumpled up the note before tossing it in the trash. I looked at the lollipop hesitantly, not sure what to do with it. It was a gift from that traitor, but…it was a lollipop. I couldn't get rid of perfectly good candy! Torn, I threw in my trunk for later.

I resolved to visit Alice during my first free period. Unfortunately, History of Magic came first. On a normal day I could barely focus on the topic, but now I barely heard a word Binns was saying. I mean, who really cares about the Kelpie Accords of 1764 when your friend's in the hospital wing, and your other friends turns out to be a total fake?

Not me, that's for sure.

As soon as class ended, I made a beeline to the hospital wing. I was one hallway away when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned slightly to see Sirius Black behind me. I ignored him. I definitely did not want to talk to Mister Troublemaker Extraordinaire right now.

"Lily," he said sternly, hurrying ahead to block my path. I stopped huffily and crossed my arms. "You don't know what's going on. You have it all wrong."

"Do I?" I asked in a tone that would set most people trembling. But this is the boy who stares down McGonagall almost every day. Of course he was unfazed.

"You thought it was a prank?" He took my silence as a yes. "Then where is it? Why hasn't it happened yet?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He was right. If it was set up last night, something would have happened by now. Though, it could be planned for later. But the Marauders were not known for their patience.

He smirked at my crinkled up forehead. "Think about it," he said, patting my shoulder. By the time I had a retort ready, he was long gone.

Hey mouth? Yeah, you might want to work on your timing. Just a suggestion.

I shook off my thoughts and entered the hospital wing. I set my bag down next to Alice's bed and watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful; it was hard to believe what had happened to her.

"You're going to be fine," I whispered. Alice didn't stir. Madame March had assured me that Alice was not in a coma; it was just easier to repair herself when she was asleep.

Which sounded suspiciously like a coma to me.

I started as my gaze fell on Remus Lupin, then berated myself. James had told me he was sick; of course he was in the hospital wing. I made my way over to his bed.

He looked a little better than he had the past few days. I studied the potion on his bedside table to see if I could tell what was wrong with him.

The concoction in the jar was unlike anything I'd seen before. It was the color of mother-of-pearl, with swirls of gray shot throughout. The potion was constantly in motion, swirling and twisting around. A faint blue smoke wafted out, and the whole thing smelled bitter. The description sounded faintly familiar, and I wracked my brain to try and figure it out.

_Mother-of-pearl…faint blue smoke…_

Holy hell.

Remus was a werewolf.

James must know. They were best friends.

Yesterday was the full moon. Which meant that when James took off without warning, he was leaving to help Remus. And I'd just blown up at him.

Merlin, I was an idiot.

* * *

I tore through the halls of Hogwarts trying to find James. After a complete circuit of school, I was on the verge of giving up when I poked my head into the library, Lo and behold; he was sitting at a table near the back. I had almost reached him when he saw me coming. A flash of annoyance crossed his face, and he fixed me with a stony stare.

I strengthened my resolve and took the seat right across from him. He barely acknowledged me.

"I know."

His quill stopped moving across the parchment and his head slowly lifted up. "Know what?" he asked in a carefully controlled tone.

"I know why you left last night."

James' expression became panicked. "You can't tell anyone! He's not dangerous at all, he's never hurt anyone!"

I snorted. "Who do you think I am? I couldn't care less! Remus is still my friend. I just wanted to apologize to you. I blew up at you, and that wasn't fair."

He grew calmer, but remained wary. "About that…" He sighed and set his quill down. "I'm not going to say it's fine, because it's not. I've worked really hard to be friends with you; for you to see who I really am. I was really happy that it didn't take very long for us to be friends, but what you said last night…it really hurt, Lily. Have you been thinking that the entire time?"

I pondered this. I hadn't really spent a lot of time on my suspicion that he was using me. I'd thought of it first when we became friends, but it hadn't crossed my mind since. I think I was using it as my trump card. If he hurt me, I could just say it was because he was using me, not because I cared about him. I was still worried about others' opinions. I'd spent six years hating one James Potter, and know we were friends? I didn't want to be seen as soft.

"Look, Lily," James said, interrupting my thoughts, "friendship takes trust. I need you to trust me. If I say I can't tell you something, you have to be okay with that. Alright?"

I trusted Alice and Marlene; maybe it was time I trusted him. Relationships were built on risk. It was time I legitimately took one with him.

"Alright."

He smiled at me.

"How in the world do you help Remus? Doesn't he attack you?"

"Lily…"

"Right, trust. Got it."

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Everything's all worked out. I'm about halfway done with the next chapter, and you know how to get me to write it: review! **

**Everyone excited for the premiere of HP 7 part 2? I know I can hardly wait! Even though I know I'm going to cry at the end.**


	10. Snape, Boxers, and Profound Discussions

**A/N: Sorry it took a little while, I had to decide which direction to take this story. Then mynameinlights15 reviewed and asked for more romance, so that's the one to thank for the way this is going. **

* * *

Snape, Boxers, and Profound Discussions

I left James in the library and wandered my way to the hospital wing. Alice should have been awake by now, and I was anxious to see her.

Unfortunately, I was intercepted by one Severus Snape.

"Lily, can I talk to you for a minute?" He looked so eager, it was kind of pathetic.

"No. You lost that privilege two years ago," I replied stiffly, trying to edge my way past him.

He blocked me and said, "I know you know."

I gave him a confused look. "I'm a smart girl; I know a lot of things. You'll have to be more specific."

"You know what Remus is."

"I know he's a smart bloke and a good friend." I would refuse to rise to his bait.

Snape sighed in exasperation. "I know he's a werewolf."

"What's the problem here?" I asked, feigning boredom.

"What's the problem? He's a threat to the student population!" he cried, looking indignant.

"_If_ that were true, and I do mean _if_," I hissed at him, "You and your death eater friends are more of a menace than he ever could be. Besides," I added, tightening my grip on my bag, "James trusts him, so I trust him. With or _without_ lycanthropy."

My words had the desired effect. Snape's eyes widened, and he seemed to visibly sag. "You trust _Potter_?" he asked in disbelief.

"More than I do you."

Pain flashed across his face. "I thought you hated him!"

"A lot can happen in a few months."

"But…" he looked slightly like a goldfish, mouth opening and closing, "He likes you!"

I was already shaking my head. "Not anymore. We're just friends. Now if you'll excuse me," I said, pushing past him. I left Snape standing there in the middle of the hall, looking shell-shocked.

I almost felt bad for him. Then I remembered the look on his face that fateful day in fifth year. He wanted nothing to do with "my kind". Why would I be any different?

"Lily!" I heard someone cry. I looked up and saw Sirius standing in front of me, looking concerned.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"With me? Nothing. With you, something. Is it Alice?" He gazed at me with uncharacteristic concern.

"Kinda. Sorta. Not really."

He gave me an expectant look when I didn't say any more. "Are you going to tell me?" he asked slowly.

"I just talked to Snape."

His expression hardened and a look of disgust settled on his features. "Did he hurt you?" he growled, his hands balled into fists.

"Look, Sirius. I know you don't understand our situation, and I don't need you to. I just want you to listen."

He nodded, and we sat down against the wall. I spilled the whole sordid story, from our first encounter to our latest one. I'll give Sirius props, I never expected him to listen so well.

"I know you think he's scum," I said, finishing up the tale, "and I do too. But it feels just the same when scum hurts you."

Sirius nodded slowly. "I think I know what you mean."

I gave him a questioning look, but he refused to elaborate.

"Besides," he said with a smirk, "you have the Marauders to fill your guy-friend quota. And we're much better looking."

I rolled my eyes and shoved him, but his purpose was fulfilled. The atmosphere was much lighter as I said. "So, I never got to ask. You and Marlene?"

Then the unthinkable happened.

Sirius Black blushed.

I know. It took me by surprise too.

"Yeah. We ran into each other at Hogsmeade. I think I might ask her to the next one."

"Well, you've got plenty of time. I just want to tell you what I told Marlene. You both have plenty of experience with dating. Just…slow it down this time, okay? Make it work. I think you two fit well together. And if you broke her heart, I'd hate to have to beat the crap out of you."

"You know, Lily," he said with raised eyebrows, "I might be wrong, but it sounds like you care about me."

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

* * *

The air outside the castle began to grow colder as winter approached. Alice was released from the hospital wing without any hitch, and Marlene and Sirius were in a stable, happy relationship.

The only one who did not seemed to be satisfied with their life was me. Sure, my grades were top-notch, I was Head Girl, and my friendship with James was growing every day. But that was it. James was confusing me to no end. I thought I could ignore the tingles and attraction, but that was before the Boxer Incident.

I was finishing my make-up one morning about a month after Alice's accident when James stumbled into the bathroom to brush his teeth. I could tell he was still half-asleep. How? I mean, besides the barely-opened eyes and half-hearted yawns?

He was clad in a pair of red plaid boxers. Something I knew he would not do were he fully conscious.

As he set up at the sink and started running water for his toothbrush, I found myself unable to tear my eyes off his exposed chest. I took a sharp intake of breath as he lifted one arm to clean his teeth. His muscles flexed tantalizingly as he scrubbed. My eyes wandered over his sculpted back and I caught sight of his chiseled abdomen in the mirror.

Quidditch had been very, _very_, good to one James Potter.

I should have told him about his current state of undress, but my vocal chords were vacationing somewhere. I suspect they were in cahoots with my eyes, which seemed perfectly happy with ogling James.

He caught sight of my staring and turned to me, looking puzzled. My breath hitched as his stomach muscles appeared in full view of my wandering eyes. James glanced down to see what I was staring at and swore quite loudly once he took in his sleepwear. He looked back up at me, and my cheeks turned an unattractive, fiery red.

"Well…this is awkward," he said weakly, trying to manage a grin. It turned out more like a grimace.

"I'm just-I, uh, well-" I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "I'll just be going now." I left the bathroom as fast as I could without looking like I was running.

Once I was back in my room, I sank down on my bed and rested my head in my hands. I had been trying to ignore my apparent attraction for James, but given my reaction to him half-naked, that might no longer be an option.

I had absolutely no clue what to do. Which meant only one thing.

I would have to tell my friends.

Someone shoot me now. Or, _Avada Kedvra _me.

...You know, that just doesn't have the same ring to it.

* * *

Alice watched me approach the Gryffindor table with a worried look in her eye. She could tell the moment I stepped in the Great Hall that something was wrong.

"What's up?" she asked, patting the seat next to her. I sat down and stared at the table, not relishing what I was about to do.

"Marlene needs to hear this," I said quietly. I saw Alice frantically gesture at Lena, and after a few moments, I sensed her take the seat across from me.

"Lils? What's wrong?" asked Marlene, worry taking over her voice.

"I think I may be physically attracted to James," I said miserably, still looking at my plate. I quickly recounted the whole sordid story, starting with the tingles, and ending with that morning's episode.

There was a beat of silence. Then…

"Well, it's about time you figured it out," remarked Marlene, rolling her eyes.

"What?" I asked, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Alice cut in. "We've known you've fancied James for ages."

"All those fights were the only outlet for the sexual tension," said Marlene.

"It's about time you saw it," Alice said happily. "We thought we'd have to plan an intervention."

I threw my hands up to stop the barrage of comments. "Whoa! Who said anything about fancying? I just said I might think he looks good."

Marlene gave me a skeptical stare. "Honey, you are warm for his form. And now you're friends, so you can't think his personality is absolutely horrid-"

"But he doesn't like me like that," I protested. "He hasn't shown any interest in me besides the friendship. So even if I did fancy him, and that's a really big 'if'," I said, glaring at Marlene, "he doesn't fancy me at all."

Marlene looked like she was about to explode. "You-but, you said-it's obvious-" She turned to Alice. "She-"

"I know," said Alice soothingly, patting her hand. "She'll come 'round."

I snorted and left the table. They were reading in between lines that didn't even exist! I was determined to show them that James held only platonic feelings for me and had given up his stalkerish obsession.

Before I left, I spotted James a little ways down the table from me. Unable to resist the chance to tease him (and put Operation James Just Wants To Be Friends in motion), I walked over and bent down towards his head. "Might want to be a little more awake next time you walk in the bathroom, yeah?"

Instead of the witty retort I had expected, James gave an uncharacteristic blush and mumbled a bit.

"Hmm? Sorry, didn't catch that."

"I said, you didn't look like you minded much."

I must have looked reminiscent of a goldfish, the way my jaw was moving up and down. It was my turn to blush as I scurried from the Hall. I looked back to find both Alice and Marlene smirking at me.

James was not helping with my plan. At all.

* * *

There were a few awkward silences for the next few days as James and I tried to deal with The Boxer Incident. But, as I told you before, James' coping mechanism was to pretend nothing had happened. I was all too happy to comply. Our relationship quickly settled into its normal routine of witty repartee and jokes. We still traded barbs with each other, but they were now uttered in a softer tone, meant to tease, not hurt.

Christmas was coming at Hogwarts, and I eagerly anticipated the impending holiday. I may have been almost ready to graduate and start my own life, but I still missed my parents when I was at school. I was about to head down to the common room before patrol that night when Calliope, my owl, tapped on my window. I let her in and took the letter she carried before giving her a few treats. She hooted softly and nipped my finger before flying to a perch on my bedpost.

The letter was from home, and it did not carry good news.

_Lily,_

_ You're not going to like this letter. I know you've been looking forward to coming home for break, but I'm not sure that's going to happen. You remember Vernon Dursley, Petunia's boyfriend? Well, he proposed to her a month ago. She's very busy planning the wedding, and our house is swamped. Vernon has asked that you not come home during the holidays, as he believes that you will upset her. Petunia, I'm sorry to say, agrees with him and doesn't want you home. Lily, I desperately want to see you, but I'm not sure what to do. You are welcome to come, but I'm not sure how Petunia and Vernon will react. So far, I've managed to persuade Petunia to let you be in the wedding, but if you come home, she might not let you participate. _

_ It's up to you, sweetie. _

_ Lots of love, _

_ Mum_

_ P.S. I think they're being highly unreasonable, and would welcome you in a heartbeat. I'm just not sure how you would feel about the whole wedding situation. _

I read the letter three times, tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew Petunia hated me, but she'd never made me stay at school during a break. I thought maybe she was okay with seeing me that short amount of time!

I guess I was wrong.

In a surge of anger, I crumpled up the letter and threw it furiously across the room. Fine. I gave up. I wouldn't come home for the holidays. I wouldn't be in her wedding, if that's what she wanted. She hated me, and it was time I accepted it.

I heard a small knock on my door and realized that James must have heard my tears. I scrubbed at my cheeks and eyes harshly with my sleeve, trying to eliminate the redness. "Yeah?" I said, trying and failing to imitate a casual tone.

"Is everything all right?" he asked, his eyes taking in my splotchy face and tear-stained cheeks.

I tried to maintain my composure, I really did. But his concern was just too much.

"No, I'm not bloody alright," I snapped. "My sister hates my guts and doesn't want me in the same house as her. She doesn't even want me in her wedding. She thinks I'm a freak and wants nothing to do with me."

A flash of hurt passed over James' face, and I realized what I'd just said and how I'd said it. "Merlin, I'm sorry, James. It's not your fault, and I just snapped at you."

His expression softened and he sat next to me on my bed. He put his arm around my shoulder and I broke down. I cried and cried, and the whole time, James didn't say a word. I felt his fingers slip into mine, and to my surprise, I felt a lollipop resting there. I looked down to see a crème soda lollipop resting in my hand.

"Thanks," I said thickly, mopping up my tears.

He nodded, sensing that it was his duty to listen and let me talk.

I tried to find the right words to say. "You know how quickly we became friends?"

He nodded once more.

"The main reason I accepted was because I didn't want to be like her. I didn't want to be judgmental of other people, and I didn't want anyone to think I thought badly of them. I realized that I was treating you the way she was treating me, and no one-not even you-deserves that."

The expression on his face was unreadable, so I kept going. "That was why I accepted initially. But, I found out that I seriously misjudged you. You're not the person I thought you were. I was blinded by my own hatred of you. You know," I continued thoughtfully, "if it weren't for Petunia's awful personality, we might not be friends."

He gave me a serious look. "Then I owe her a great deal."

I shoved him weakly and smiled. "That was a really pansy thing to say."

"You know you loved it."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he crossed his eyes back at me. He got to his feet and pulled me up with him, saying, "Now that our little profound discussion is over, we need to patrol."

"James," I said softly, grabbing his sleeve.

He turned and gave me an inquiring look.

"I really mean it. Thanks for listening."

He smiled, his whole face lighting up. "It's what I'm here for."

**A/N: Some good jujubees coming up next chapter (that's a weird little expression I say, not sure where it comes from). I'm really excited for it. Things are about to heat up a little! And guess what? Reviewing will make it come faster! **


	11. Why I Hate Mistletoe

**A/N: Wow, 12 reviews! Thanks for all the feedback, I really appreciate it.**

**I finally saw HP 7B on Sunday! Life wouldn't let me go to the midnight premiere, so I had to wait a couple of days. But it was so worth it! I loved the movie. It was such a great wrap-up to the series I've loved for ten years. I couldn't stop crying near the end, especially during the Resurrection Stone scene. That's what got me going to write this chapter. Enjoy!**

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My Love-Hate Relationship with Mistletoe

We left the common room together and climbed the winding stone staircase up to the astronomy tower. I would have preferred to stay inside the castle instead of patrolling outside in December at 11 o'clock at night, but we couldn't find any prefects who'd take over for us.

And believe me, I'd tried. Stupid little fifth years. It wasn't _that_ cold outside.

"It's bloody freezing out here," I complained to James as we started our rounds.

Yes, I am perfectly aware of the hypocrisy of that last statement.

"Patrol would probably go quicker if you stopped complaining," he said, "just a suggestion."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Real mature, Lily."

"You're one to talk!"

"I'm not the one who thinks sticking their tongue out is an acceptable retort."

I stuck my tongue out again.

"James one, Lily zero."

I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him.

"You're only mad because you know I'm right."

I rolled my eyes. "Can we just get this over with?"

"I can make patrol go quicker," said James, pulling a piece of what looked like old parchment out of his cloak. He studied it for a minute before yelling at a dark corner behind me.

"Oi! You might want to clear out now. Ten points off for each of you!" There was some rustling as Amos Diggory and Amy Johnson sheepishly crept out. My face turned bright pink as Amos gave me an awkward glance. I pointedly looked away as they left.

"Maybe you do have potential to be a matchmaker," said James with laughter in his voice. "Didn't you set them up?"

"I was just trying to get him to go away. I didn't know he'd actually like her," I said defensively.

"Lily Evans, accidental matchmaker," he said, grinning and shaking his head. I smacked him in the shoulder and stalked past him.

"Resorting to violence, Lily? That's not very reminiscent of a Head Girl."

"Oh, and you are?" I shot back.

"No," he said, using a tone of voice one uses when trying to explain something to a five-year-old, "No, I'm not reminiscent of a Head Girl. Mostly because I'm a boy."

I blushed a deeper shade of pink. "I meant the Head in general. You know what? Never mind." I stalked off to check another portion of the tower.

"Lily, I was just messing with you. I know what you meant. Oh, and by the way, don't waste your time over there. I'd check that corner if I were you." He pointed to a little alcove about ten feet from me. Sure enough, a couple sixth years scurried out as soon as they heard us coming.

"Okay, how are you doing this?" I demanded in disbelief. There was no way he was guessing; some of these couples were hidden extremely well.

"Dumb luck?" he suggested unconvincingly. I saw his eyes flicker to the parchment as he muttered something unintelligible.

"Alright," I said calmly. He relaxed slightly, thinking I believed him. Before he could react, I suddenly lunged for the parchment. I was so surprised that I'd managed to snag it from his hands that I almost dropped it.

"Lily! You need to trust me!"

"That promise cannot be used as a blanket clause for all secrets! I deserve to know some things," I protested as I studied the parchment. "Now, what do you do?" I asked curiously, turning it this way and that.

Suddenly, black ink appeared and began to spread over the paper. Words began to form slowly, and I squinted to read them.

_Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Miss Evans and believes that Mr. Prongs would not be remiss in telling her of our secrets._

_ Mr. Padfoot thinks the lovely Miss Evans can be very nosy, but he must admit that she has become more trustworthy in the past few months. _

_ Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Moony and Mr. Padfoot, and would like to add that Miss Evans is very pretty._

What the hell was this? And who the hell were Moony, Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail?

James snatched the parchment out of my grip. His eyes quickly scanned it before he gave a resigned sigh. "Fine, since everyone seems to want me to tell you," he muttered.

"So, what is it?"

James merely said, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

The writing morphed and swirled into hundreds of thin, spidery lines that criss-crossed and slithered over the whole parchment. It looked like...

"A map?"

James nodded. "Of Hogwarts."

I looked back down and saw that footsteps had appeared as well. I peered closer at a pair on the Astronomy Tower and realized with a start that one of them was labeled with my own name. The other was marked 'James Potter'.

"Merlin…" I said weakly. "Does this show everyone in the castle?"

James nodded proudly. "Impressive, huh?"

"So _that's_ how you've gotten away with so much!"

"You _would_ immediately focus on the trouble-making aspect," James muttered. "But yes, this does help. We made it in fifth year."

"Fi-fifth year?" I spluttered. "But that's-that's bloody complicated magic!"

James' characteristic smirk took over his face. "Yup," he said smugly.

"…Wait. We?"

James nodded. "Me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter."

"And who were those people writing on the front?"

"That's us. Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot, Peter is Wormtail, and I'm Prongs."

Suddenly the comments made more sense. But something else was strange.

I raised an eyebrow. "And did you just draw random names, or are those supposed to mean something?"

James was shaking his head before I even finished. "Nope, that's enough secrets for one night."

I pouted. James looked a little torn before shaking his head. "No. That's it." He checked the map once more and said, "No one else is up here, so I say we go back inside."

I was all too happy to follow him out of the cold.

As we left the tower, I wracked my brain trying to figure out what those nicknames meant. Remus was called Moony…well, he _was_ a werewolf. Which meant he was susceptible to the full moon…moony. I got it! Remus was called Moony because he was a werewolf!

Now, Sirius was called Padfoot. Did he walk quietly? I immediately discarded that idea; Sirius sounded like a herd of elephants charging down the hallway. That would be a stupid thing to nickname yourself after anyway.

Moving onto James. His nickname was Prongs. Maybe…uh…I got nothing on this one.

I was on autopilot walking back to the common room when I suddenly couldn't move my feet. My torso, not expecting the sudden stop, kept moving forward. I pinwheeled my arms in an attempt to stay upright. I barely managed to avoid eating stone. I righted myself and carefully examined my feet. They seemed to be firmly planted on the floor below. I tried with all my might to lift one, but my foot refused to budge. What the hell? Why couldn't I move? Was it someone's idea of a prank to put a Sticking Charm on the floor? I examined my surroundings in a panic, trying to find out what was keeping me stationary. I finally looked up to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging serenely over my head.

Oh no. Hell no.

You may not think this was a huge deal, but you don't know the context of this seemingly innocent plant. Some students at Hogwarts thought it was bloody hilarious to bewitch the mistletoe that was hanging over multiple doorways. Instead of being able to simply walk out from underneath it, you would be stuck there until someone kissed you. I was doomed to stand here until I was kissed. Unfortunately, it was late at night and the only person nearby to help was James.

Or maybe it wasn't unfortunate.

Whoa. Where did that come from?

"Lily? What's wrong?" asked James, stopping a few feet from me.

"I'm stuck under the bloody mistletoe," I grumbled.

James' face remained in a carefully neutral expression. "That's not good."

"No duh, Sherlock. Muggle expression," I said quickly, addressing the unspoken question on James' face.

Oh Merlin, what was I going to do?

"I can help you out."

I froze. I hadn't actually thought James would volunteer. What did this mean? Did he want to kiss me, meaning that he fancied me, as Alice and Marlene were so fond of saying? Or was he helping me out as a friend? But what platonic, male, friend wanted kissed you? Or did he not want to kiss me, and only volunteered to help me out?

Oh Merlin, now I have a headache.

James stepped a little closer. "You do need help, don't you?"

I nodded silently. James grinned and positioned himself in front of me. My heart rate spiked as my breathing became shallower and shallower.

All of a sudden, James was leaning towards me, his eyes sliding shut. My eyelids fluttered closed as his lips gently touched mine.

It was a very simple kiss, just lips touching lips. But, bloody hell, was it a kiss. My mouth was burning with a slow heat under his touch. I felt like there were fireworks being launched in my stomach as my brain started shutting down. Synapse by synapse started failing; the only thing I could focus on was the smell of James (Quidditch and cologne) and what he tasted like (peppermint).

But all too soon, his lips left mine, and I was left craving more.

My eyes snapped open to find James smiling at me, hands in his pockets. He took in my expression and hastily said, "Don't worry about it, Lily. I was just helping out. That's it."

My heart sank in unreasonable despair. His words really shouldn't have hurt as much as they did. I knew he was just a friend. He was just helping out, like any friend would. It's not like I wanted to snog him senseless or anything…

Nope. Definitely not.

Numbly, I switched my focus to my feet and tried walking forward. They finally decided to obey me, fortunately. Unfortunately, I hadn't been expecting them to. As a result, I smacked face-first into a wall.

"Dammit!" Actually, I may have said something stronger, but I'm censoring for you.

I heard a chuckle behind me and turned to find James still watching me, an amused look on his face.

Bugger. He'd seen that. I quickly turned around and fled for the 7th-year girls' dorm.

I needed advice. And chocolate.

Not necessarily in that order.

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I burst through the door and made a beeline for the spare bed. I flung myself down, buried my face in a pillow, and yelled, "This cannot be happening to me!"

Marlene watched me over top of her magazine as Alice poked her head out of the bathroom. Both were in their pajamas, and I thanked my lucky stars that I'd caught them before bed. I can't imagine trying to sleep without talking to them first.

"What's not happening to you?" asked Marlene with interest.

"James kissed me then told me it didn't mean anything and I walked into a wall and now he probably thinks I'm an idiot."

"James kissed you!" cried Marlene.

"And said it didn't mean anything?" cried Alice.

"Details!" they shrieked unanimously.

I recounted the events of that evening, skipping over the part about the map. When I finished, both girls were gaping at me.

Marlene recovered first. "Well? How was it?" she demanded, and I didn't have to ask her what she meant.

"Amazing." It may have only been a peck, but it was honestly the best kiss I'd ever received.

"He really told you it meant nothing?" asked Alice skeptically.

I nodded glumly. "Maybe I'm just a really bad kisser." Maybe he'd been disgusted with me and never wanted to kiss me again. My chest twisted painfully at the thought.

"I don't think so," said Alice slowly, brow furrowed.

Marlene cut in. "So this means you've accepted your feelings for him, right?"

"I-I don't know."

Marlene and Alice gave me identical looks of disbelief.

"Well, you can want to kiss someone and not fancy them, right?" I said desperately.

"That's called lust, Lily," said Marlene sarcastically. "Unless you want to say that you're lusting after James, I'd stick with fancying."

But I didn't want to fancy him. He was my friend, and I didn't want to destroy our brief, but strong relationship by fancying him. If tonight was any indication, it was obvious that he definitely did not feel that way for me. Admitting that I fancied him might make me want to act on my feelings. And that might end in catastrophe. Scratch that, it probably _would_ end in catastrophe.

But that really was one hell of a kiss.

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**A/N: Ah, things start to get interesting…but we've still got some things to work through. Reviewing makes me write faster!**

**I would like to point out to anonymous reviewer chrys21 that the books do not explicitly state what position James played. The movie made him a Seeker, but J.K. said in an interview that she meant for him to be a Chaser. **


	12. Playing Pretend and Revealing Secrets

**A/N: I've been very impressed with the number of reviews I've been getting. I'm so glad so many enjoy my story, it makes me want to keep writing! Hence, the longest chapter yet. **

**Disclaimer: Wishing doesn't equal owning.**

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Playing Pretend and Revealing Secrets

The next morning, I put my plan into action. Ah, what was the plan, you ask?

Do nothing.

I'm serious. Do nothing. I would take all my cues from James. But the one thing I would not do under any circumstance was bring up The Kiss. I would plaster a fake smile on my face and pretend everything was okay, at least, until James left for the holidays.

So plaster I did. I let no one know that this kiss was bothering me as much as it was. James, thankfully, did not bring it up. I just tried to go on like normal. Sometimes I tried to forget about the mistletoe incident, but it hovered over me like one of the school ghosts. Every time I started to forget about it, I turned around, and wham! Faceful of cold water.

I caught James giving me troubled looks every now and again, which made me renew my efforts to appear normal. I did not want him poking around in that particular area. It might result in something bad. Like me throwing myself at him and snogging his brains out.

Yeah. That was bad.

I shook my head to try and dislodge all mental pictures of me and James and tried to focus on saying good-bye to my friends. Both Marlene and Alice were leaving for the holidays, leaving me at Hogwarts all by myself. But I was going to be fine; it was no big deal.

…I know, that didn't sound convincing to me, either.

"Lily, I feel really bad leaving you here over the holidays," said Alice, her face filled with worry.

"Me too. I feel like there's something going on that you won't tell us," Marlene said softly. She gave me a tight hug, and Alice joined in. Standing there, with my arms wrapped around both of my best friends, I felt okay. I felt like everything was fine, and I had nothing to worry about. Then they pulled away and headed toward the train, and all my problems and worries swooped back down over me like a pack of vultures. I sighed and once again wondered how I'd gotten myself into this mess.

_You fell in love with the boy you hated._

Whoa, whoa, slow down. Who said anything about love? I wouldn't even admit I fancied the bloke!

_Ah, so you do fancy him!_

What? No, I never said that! I just, uh…

_Am driving yourself crazy over a peck on the lips?_

Yeah, that's it.

…Okay, even I have to admit how flimsy that sounded.

"Hey, Lily, mind if we walk with you?"

I turned around to find ¾ of the Marauders hurrying to catch up with me. The only one missing was…

"Where's Peter?"

'He's visiting family for the holidays."

"And you're not?" James at least seemed like a person who would spend Christmas with his parents.

"Nah. My parents are off in-" He broke off, his eyebrows screwed up in concentration. "Actually, I'm not sure where they are."

"They're in Italy, James," said Remus, half in exasperation, half in amusement.

"Right, Italy. Well, the point is that they're not home, so I can't go home."

"And Sirius?"

"I live with James now, so if he's not going, I'm not going."

I shot a confused glance at James. He shook his head and mouthed, "Long story." I shrugged and turned to Remus.

"I just felt like staying here," he said casually.

"That works. At least I won't be totally alone this holiday."

"That's the spirit, Lils!" cried James, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

I sighed. I thought I would be able to let my guard down this holiday, but if I was spending it with James…

Let the pretending continue.

* * *

One thing I discovered about constantly pretending you're okay when you're not is that you start developing insomnia. I was beginning to find that I could no longer sleep through the night. My mind was constantly racing through events of the day, things James said or did, things I said or did, and most of all, the kiss. I'd watch it again and again in my mind, analyzing every little moment and touch. I literally could not forget about it. Sometimes I wished I could; the play-by-play was getting a little old. Every time I thought about it, I always came up with the same conclusion: James did not fancy me. He might have once upon a time, but it seemed that he had gotten tired and given up. I needed to face the facts and accept this. I needed to learn how to be his friend and be okay with only that. We were not going to end up together, and I would end up heartbroken if I couldn't accept that.

At this point you might have pieced together that I'd acknowledged that I fancied James. The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one, so, I fancy James. Now I just had to figure out how to get over him.

Yeah, easier said than done.

One night a few days before Christmas, I was sitting at the window in my dorm. I was unable to sleep once again, and was hoping that watching the grounds would help me become drowsy. I watched the Black Lake ripple in the moonlight as the Whomping Willow swayed gently, branches snapping at nighttime insects. The Forbidding Forest stood ominously at the edge of the grounds. Visibility faded to black as I tried to peer into it, and I pulled back in fear as I heard a faint howl echo around the grounds. Suddenly I was very glad to be inside the castle, and not outside with the risk of facing whatever had made that sound.

A sudden movement at the edge of the forest drew my attention. I squinted my eyes and pressed my face to the window as I tried to make out what was going in. A person covered in cloaks was huddled next to a great, black dog. I saw it turn its head and sniff the air before starting into the woods. The person next to it grabbed its fur and slowly followed, looking as if every step pained them. The dog had its head cocked slightly to the side, like it was constantly checking on its charge. My brow creased as I watched the pair's progress. That person looked like they were in great pain, and I couldn't leave them on the grounds. But they were outside with whatever had howled. I didn't want to meet that creature. They had a chance of meeting it as well…okay, now I really couldn't leave them outside.

I hastily grabbed a cloak and pulled it over my pajamas before snatching my wand off my bedside table. I dashed out the door and started sneaking down the hallways, trying to be as silent as possible. I was almost at the entrance hall when I felt a prickling on the back of my neck. I turned my head slowly to find Mrs. Norris, Filch's new kitten, watching me balefully. She turned and strutted down the corridor, her tail flicking back and forth threateningly. Some instinct told me she was going to fetch her owner, so I bolted out of the school before she could return.

A wave of icy cold air hit me as soon as I stepped outside. The intensity of it hammered my chest, causing me to gasp. I really should have thought this through before I decided to dash into the December night. I cast a quick heating charm on my cloak, but it only took the edge off the cold. I needed to find this person and get them inside quickly, before I froze to death. Resolve firmly set, I started toward the forest.

My determination wavered slightly as I reached the edge of the woods. The trees seemed almost sinister, their branches beckoning me just a little closer. I took a deep breath, then immediately regretted it as a huge rush of frozen air filled my lungs. I wrapped my cloak tightly around my body, and plunged into the pitch-black forest.

"_Lumos_," I whispered. My wand tip lit up, causing me to squint at the sudden brightness. I peered around, trying to find the mysterious dog and cloaked person. I was pretty sure this was where they'd vanished into the forest. At least, I hoped this was where they'd vanished. I did _not_ want to spend more time in here than I needed to. I continued scanning the trees and clearings around me, neglecting to watch where I was stepping.

"Dammit!" I hissed as I tripped on a tree root. I went sprawling, my wand flying out of my hand and arcing across the air. I watched in horror as it seemed to glide in slow motion before landing on the forest floor. The light quickly extinguished, leaving me defenseless in the Forbidden Forest at night.

Not to mention I couldn't see a bloody thing.

Not good. Not good. Commence hysteria.

I scrabbled around in the underbrush, trying to find it. Since it was made of wood, however, I thought every other thing I grabbed was my wand, until I tried to pick it up. It turns out there are a _lot_ of tree roots in the forest.

I froze as a foreign sound rang in my ears. Something was crashing through the forest, and it sounded like it was coming closer.

My body kicked into overdrive. My heart rate spiked until I could feel in beating in my throat. There was a great rushing sound in my ears, and my hands started shaking. I threw my arms blindly into the leaves piling the ground, and by some fantastic stroke of luck, my right hand closed on a thin, smooth, stick of wood. I yanked my wand up and cried, "_Lumos_!"

White light burst into the clearing I was in, revealing something rustling in the bushes across from me. I aimed my wand and started backing away. Before I could turn and flee, though, an animal sprang out.

Suddenly, a magnificent stag was standing right in front of me. It was shorter than I was, but his eyes met mine exactly. I was transfixed under his stare, my wand lying forgotten in my limp hand. He stepped closer, and I leaned away slightly, awed and scared of such a marvelous creature. He looked as if he were trying to block me from passing. It stretched up its neck until we were eye-to-eye. His eyes seemed strangely familiar. They were a twinkling hazel color. I could've sworn that it almost recognized me, but surely that wasn't possible.

Was it?

I studied the stag a little more closely. His eyes were heavily-lidded, like someone had taken a black marker and drawn around them. And his antlers looked strangely placed. They seemed random and messy, not like the antlers of other deer I'd seen before.

There was something not quite right about this animal. The more I stared, the more familiar this animal seemed. A crazy idea formed in my head, but that couldn't be right. I was stupid for thinking it, but…I couldn't dismiss the strange qualities this stag possessed.

"James?" I whispered incredulously. I immediately felt foolish. This was a wild animal, not one of my friends.

But as soon as I spoke, the stag blinked and staggered back. Well, as much as a deer can stagger. He looked at me in astonishment.

I began to feel uneasy. I wanted to be wrong, but stags did not stagger or look astonished. I continued to watch it apprehensively, not sure what to do next.

But it was the stag that made the next move. He shuddered, and suddenly, James Potter was standing in front of me, staring at me in disbelief.

"How the bloody hell did you know it was me?"

I was speechless. I didn't expect to be right! But now that James was in front of me, the similarities were overwhelming. His eyes looked identical to the stag's, and I could see that it was his glasses that had caused the rings around the stag's eyes. His messy hair was in the same position the antlers had been. Suddenly, I felt like less of a fool for thinking James was the deer.

"Holy hell…"

Found my voice.

"You know what? It doesn't matter right now. What matters is that you've made my job ten times harder right now."

"What? What's going on?"

"I'm trying to get Remus to safety before he transforms. I was supposed to be on lookout while Sirius got him to the Shrieking Shack, but know I have to keep you safe to," he said tersely, grabbing my hand and steering me out of the forest. I blinked feebly as we entered the grounds, and only then realized that the full moon was out. I cursed at my stupidity. The huddled figure with the dog must have been Remus.

"I saw him, on the grounds," I whispered. "I just wanted to help…"

"Why do you always have to be so bloody noble, Lily?" he groaned

I remained silent.

James continued to pull me behind him, and I tried my hardest to disregard my reaction to his hand in mine. Now was really not the time to go all swoony.

I gasped as we rounded a corner of the woods. The Whomping Willow was right in front of us, flailing and swatting at the giant, black dog I'd seen before, who seemed to be dodging back and forth toward the trunk. Remus was collapsed on the ground, gasping in pain. I attempted to hurry over to him, but James held me back. "You won't do much good. He only responds to us at this point," he said shaking his head. "OI! Padfoot!"

The black dog stopped what he was doing and trotted toward us. Suddenly, Sirius Black was panting and gasping for breath in front of us.

"Can't—get to—the damn—knothole," he wheezed, clutching his side.

"What is going on?" I asked, trying to keep up.

Sirius seemed to notice me for the first time. "What the bloody hell is _she_ doing here?"

"Believe me, Padfoot, I'm asking myself the same thing," grumbled James. I opened my mouth to retort, but he cut me off. "No luck with the tree, then?"

"No, I'm too big. _Why_ did Peter have to leave?"

"What are you trying to do?" I asked, desperate to try and redeem myself.

"We need to hit that knothole," he pointed to the trunk, "to freeze the tree."

Not sure why that was causing so much trouble…

"_Wingardium Leviosa_!" I cried, waving my wand at a nearby stick. The branch rose up and zoomed toward the tree, hitting the knothole square in the center. The tree froze to a standstill, and both Sirius and James looked at me in shock.

"Well, I feel stupid now," said Sirius simply.

James pushed him over toward Remus. "Contemplate your intelligence later, grab Remus and get to the shack!"

Sirius nodded once and transformed back into a dog. He gently took Remus' robes in his mouth and half-pulled him toward the tree. I gasped as the vanished under it.

"Where-"

But James cut me off. "Never mind that now, I'll explain later. Get back to the castle!"

He started off to the tree, but I grabbed his sleeve. "But Filch knows someone's out of bed! Mrs. Norris caught me, I'll get caught!"

James plunged a hand into his robes and pulled out the map. He shoved it in my hands and said, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." The map came to life before me, and I saw our dots by the tree.

"And don't get caught!" he yelled as he sprinted for the tree.

"Thanks…" I muttered when I realized that he could no longer hear me. I turned my attention back to the map and studied it until I found Filch and Mrs. Norris. They were patrolling the ground floor, but if I just took this shortcut here…

Fifteen minutes later I was shivering in front of the Head common room fire, still clutching the map. James hadn't told me how to wipe it clean, so I sat there watching it, waiting for some sign of the Marauders. James and Sirius were down in the Shrieking Shack with Remus, who was probably in full werewolf mode now. I hoped they were alright.

At round daybreak three little dots appeared by the Whomping Willow. James and Sirius dropped Remus off at the hospital wing before making their way to the Head dorms. I scrambled up off the couch and scurried to my room, trying to find my little first aid kit. I wasn't sure whether they were hurt or not, but I didn't want to waste any time when they arrived by scrambling to locate it.

I set up my supplies on the table in the middle of the room, and impatiently waited for them to climb through the portrait hole.

I could tell immediately that they were injured. Sirius had some scrapes across his face and deep cut along one arm. James was restricting his movement, and I guessed he had some injuries on his torso.

"Come here," I said, rather businesslike.

"We're fine, Lily, honestly," said Sirius, trying to edge by me.

"You may have skipped Madam March's care, but you will _not_ skip mine," I commanded, giving them a piercing glare.

James gave a theatrical sigh and flopped down on the couch. He hissed in pain as he landed, clutching his side. I was next to him in an instant.

"Right then, shirt off."

James grinned at me as he shrugged out of it. "Y'know Sirius, I don't think I've ever been around a girl that was so matter-of-fact about undressing me."

If he'd been alright I would've smacked him, but I settled for an intense glare. James chuckled at my face, which I knew was beet red.

"Kidding, Lily."

I harrumphed as I examined his side. A large, purple bruise was blossoming near his ribs. I slid my fingers over his chest to feel the extent of the damage.

But I did also enjoy the feel of his muscles under my hand.

I determined that his ribs were intact and began smearing on a yellow paste to help the bruising. James' breathing, which had sped up during my examination, began to slow down as the remedy began to take effect. When I was sure that James would be fine, I turned my attention to Sirius.

He reluctantly let me look after the cut on his arm. After swearing quite loudly when I administered a few drops of dittany to the cut on his arm, he refused to let me look after the scrapes on his face. He only relented when I let him know that Marlene was not impressed by scars.

I collapsed on the couch next to James when I was finished. My energy reserves were exhausted, but I was not falling asleep until James had filled me in.

"Now, tell me: What the bloody hell was going on last night?"

James sighed and stared down at his lap for a few minutes. I was about to ask him again when he spoke up.

"Every full moon, Peter, Sirius, and I escort Remus down to the Shrieking Shack via the secret tunnel at the base of the Whomping Willow. That tree was specifically planted when we arrived to hide the passageway. No one's discovered it yet-well, almost no one." He shook his head in response to the question on my face. "Later. It was too dangerous for us to be with him during the full moon, but we wanted to be with him. In fifth year, after we made the map, we had the idea to become Animagi. It was bloody difficult to do, but by the end of the year we'd done it. On a side note, that's where our nicknames come from. Moony for a werewolf, Wormtail for a rat, Padfoot for a dog, and Prongs for a stag. That way, we would be able to stay with Remus in the Shack. Werewolves are much friendlier around animals than with humans. And before you ask, no, we're not registered."

I was silent for five minutes while I contemplated what I'd just heard. What James had done…it was extremely noble and loyal, not to mention extremely dangerous. He'd risked his life physically and judicially for the sake of a friend. And he'd done it when I thought he was an arrogant, self-obsessed prat.

Lily Evans, you are once again proven wrong.

"I'm not going to yell at you for doing something illegal," I said quietly. "I think it's very noble." I paused, then asked, "Do you think all I care about is rules?"

"No, no!" James said. "I just thought you were going to ask that."

"That's not all I care about. Other values and ideals can trump laws to me." I didn't want James to think of me as a prissy, rule-loving Head Girl.

James raised an eyebrow. "Lily, you snuck out in the middle of the night to check on Remus. You helped us sneak out, then you snuck back in. Without telling anyone. You don't need to defend yourself to me."

I brightened a little at his words. "Yeah, I guess I did." He smiled at me and we sat there for a bit, just watching each other. But I couldn't resist one last jab.

"You've been such a bad influence on me."

* * *

**A/N: Please review!**


	13. Pretty Much the Best Christmas Ever

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took a bit. It would have been posted sooner, but I wasn't sure where to go with it.**

**Disclaimer: HP isn't mine.**

* * *

Pretty Much the Best Christmas Ever

I awoke groggily on Christmas morning to a sun that seemed way too bright. I stumbled out of bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I peered out the window. The sun reflected straight into my pupils and I shaded my eyes as I gazed upon the snow-covered grounds. Everything seemed quiet and peaceful-

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone.

Snow?

I vigorously rubbed my eyes and double checked. Yup, everything as far as the eyes could see was covered in a blanket of white, icy, powder. It had snowed on Christmas!

I dashed from my dorm and burst into James'. "James! Get up! It snowed!"

He was sprawled out across his bed, snoring away. Thankfully, the low temperatures of winter had forced him into wearing a t-shirt and long pajama pants to bed. I'm not sure how I would have reacted to finding him in his boxers.

Actually, I know exactly what would've happened. And it doesn't end well.

"James," I cried, "Get up!"

"Wazwron?" he groaned, rolling over.

I rolled my eyes and poked him in the side. He seized convulsively and fell off the side of the bed with a loud thump. There was a pause, then a weak, "Dammit."

"James," I said slowly, "Are you ticklish?"

"No," he said quickly, hauling himself up off the floor.

I felt a grin spread across my face. "You are."

"Lily Evans, if you attempt to tickle me, I _will_ hex you into oblivion."

I held up my hands defensively. "Alright, alright, I won't." But I filed the information away for later.

"Why are you even in here, anyway?"

I pushed him over to the window, pointing. "Look! It snowed!"

He blinked and looked at me. "You woke me up early to tell me it snowed in the middle of winter?"

"It's also Christmas morning." The sentence was barely out of my mouth when his eyes lit up and he tore from the room.

"Why didn't you say so earlier?"

I rolled my eyes and followed him out to the common room. Two small piles of presents sat beneath a festive Christmas tree. James was already tearing into his as I sat down.

I pulled a present at random and checked the handwriting. Marlene. I neatly slid my finger underneath the tape and methodically removed the paper, folding it and setting it aside. Beneath the wrapping was a large case of makeup. Very typical of Marlene. While not being totally thrilled with her choice of gift, there were some eyeshadows that I did need, and I knew Marlene would have fun dolling me up.

Alice's gift was a set of books on Defense Against the Dark Arts. She knew about me deep desire to be an Auror, and she also knew about my nervousness that I wouldn't be good enough. These books would definitely help me with my spell work. I set them by the couch so I could start them later.

Mum and Dad sent me a care package filled with homemade treats. I smiled nostalgically as I bit into one of Mum's famous fudge brownies. The chocolate taste reminded me of the times when Petunia and I would help out in the kitchen, usually doing more harm than good. I shook the melancholy thoughts away as I pushed the goodie basket away.

I looked over at James and saw that he was almost done with his pile. He'd gotten a bag of Zonko's products from Sirius, a book on Transfiguration from Remus, and a bag of Honeydukes sweets from Peter. His parents had also sent him a package full of homemade treats.

I turned back to my pile and saw one package left. I picked it up to find it unlabeled. I was about to open it when I heard James speak up. "That one's from me."

I slid the wrappings off to find a huge bag filled with nothing but lollipops. There was my favorite Muggle brand, plus a few other Muggle kinds. There were also wizard lollipops from Honeydukes. This bag would last me for an entire year.

I looked over at James in amazement. He smiled sheepishly. "I know you really love them, so I thought I'd just get a whole bunch."

This was more than just buying a lot of candy. He'd obviously hunted around for different kinds. The thought and care that had gone into this simple gift touched me.

"I, uh-thank you," I said, a little lost for words.

He grinned. "No problem."

I started when I realized that I had yet to give him my present. "Don't move," I ordered, springing up and dashing to my dorm. I threw open my trunk and rifled around, trying to find my gift. I'd been working on it for days, since the forest incident. I'd wracked my brain trying to find the perfect thank-you for letting me in on so many secrets, and this seemed like a good idea at the time. What if he hated it, though?

Well, it was too late to do anything about it now. I spied the envelope I'd stored it in and grabbed it, dashing back out into the common room.

I slid down onto the floor next to James. I held out the envelope for him, my breath hitching as his fingers brushed against mine. He ripped open the envelope and pulled open the small piece of parchment I'd been slaving over for days. Before he had a chance to ask, I said, "It's a seal for the Marauders. There's an enchantment on it so whenever you press it on parchment, it'll appear there. Sort of like a stamp."

The emblem I'd designed looked sort of like a coat of arms divided into four parts. A black paw print was emblazoned in each section: a werewolf for Remus, a rat for Peter, a dog for Sirius, and a stag for James.

"You can put it on the map if you want to, or on letters or whatever. It was my way of thanking you for telling me all these secrets you have. If you don't like it, I mean, you don't have to use it-"

"It's amazing." James' eyes were suddenly locked on mine, causing my heart to start pounding in my throat. "It's really good. You did all this yourself?"

I was unable to speak, since my heart had decided to take up permanent residence in my larynx. I settled for a nod.

He ran his hand through his hair, blowing out a breath as he did so. "Merlin, Lily, that's really-it's really good."

"Thanks." My voice had decided to duke it out with my heart. Winner takes all, the prize: my throat.

James fixed me with an unreadable stare, then suddenly hopped up and dashed to his dormitory. He returned with a small package with a red bow on top. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to give this to you, but I want to now."

I took the small present with shaking hands. This was the type of box that jewelry came in. I cracked the lid open to find a simple necklace lying on the felt inside.

A small, emerald teardrop pendant dangled from a thin, silver chain. I knew immediately that the necklace matched the color of my irises perfectly. I felt tears prick my eyes as I focused back up at James, who was beginning to look a little uncomfortable.

"I-I love it," I said, my voice cracking. I could feel all the walls I'd built up around my heart begin to crack and weaken. I had to avoid James today or I would end up doing something that I would really regret.

Like snogging his brains out.

Or professing my undying love for him.

Or any combination of the two, your choice.

* * *

Unfortunately, James had other plans for that day's activities.

"C'mon, let's go out and play in the snow!" He looked so happy and I knew that if I said no I would be really hurting him. Plus, I'd been so excited about the snow before; it would be suspicious if I didn't go out.

"Fine, I'll be right out." I quickly changed into warmer clothes, but before I left, I carefully slipped the necklace from its box and fastened it around my neck. It nestled perfectly right beneath my throat.

As I walked, I thought about James' choice of Christmas present. The necklace was exquisitely beautiful, and probably very expensive. Friends didn't give each other gifts like that, did they? Did that mean he really cared for me? Or did he just consider me a very good friend?

My brain was hurting from all the over-analyzing, so I decided to drop it for now.

I stepped outside the castle only to discover that James was nowhere to be found

"James?" I called. I was answered by silence. Had I come out before he had?

Suddenly, something cold and wet hit the back of my head. "Got you!" called James gleefully, jumping out from behind a tree.

"Oh, it is so on," I growled, scooping up some snow and throwing it at his face. Or, should I say, I _tried_ to throw it at his face.

"Uh, Lily?" James teased. "I'm over here. Not there." He pointed to the spot five feet away where my snowball had landed.

I ground my teeth and scooped up more snow, this time aiming a little more carefully before I released. James ducked back behind his hiding spot, and I took advantage of his temporary blindness. I snuck around behind him and held in my giggles as he peered back to where he still thought I was.

"Lily?" he called.

I silently placed a hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing.

"Uh, where are you?" he asked, sounding a bit more nervous.

I leaned over and scooped up a handful of snow before straightening up and tapping him on the shoulder.

He whirled around. His eyes widened and he grabbed my hands as I shoved the snow toward his face.

"Oh, no you don't!" he cried, struggling with me. Suddenly, I was falling through the air, landing with a thump on my back. James, who had hold of my wrists at the time, landed smack dab on top of me.

Cue the racing heart and ragged breathing.

I froze as I stared into James' hazel eyes. After a few seconds of silence, I realized that James was not making any sort of move to get off of me. And if he didn't move, there was no way I could.

But I really had no intention of doing any such thing in the foreseeable future.

I tried to guess what James was thinking as he stared down at me. Sometimes I could read this boy like a book, but sometimes the words in said book became Greek. Like now, for instance. James had on what could easily pass for a blank expression, but I could see a hundred different emotions and thoughts passing through his head. None of them were very clear to me, though.

Suddenly, James' face softened and he smiled at me softly. In that one moment, the carefully constructed defenses and barriers I'd built against my feelings for James started tumbling to the ground. I never wanted to move from this spot. I wanted to stay here and smile at James and just look at him forever.

Wait…was it just me, or was James' face getting closer?

It was. James was inching closer toward me, his eyes suddenly fixed on my lips.

_This could be very bad for you, you know_, cried a little voice in my head. _You could completely destroy your friendship with him!_

The rest of me pushed that little voice out the window as my eyelashes started fluttering shut. I prayed with all my might that James would actually kiss me, right here, as we lay in the snow. I didn't care that it was cold; I didn't care that I could feel snow seeping through my coat. I only cared about James; his body covering mine, his face slowly descending to mine.

This was the moment that would define our entire relationship.

Then James pressed his lips on mine and my brain ceased to function. Our last kiss had been merely a peck; this one was full of passion and months of repressed emotion. My lips worked frantically against his as sparks flew wherever he touched me. My heart beat erratically and I sighed contentedly against James' lips.

The sound, however small, caused James to bolt upright. A look of sheer panic crossed his face and he quickly stood, staring at me awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," he said miserably before bolting back to the castle.

…

Why do all these things have to happen to me?

* * *

I sat alone in my dorm with my head in my hands, trying to figure out what had just happened. James was nowhere to be found. The only thing I could concentrate on was his voice, saying, "I'm sorry," over and over again. The look on his face, the panic, wouldn't stop playing in front of my eyes, like some horrible nightmare.

I'd done the thing I'd dreaded most: I had destroyed our friendship. We could no longer go back to the way things were and pretend nothing ever happened. Those kisses were seared into my mind, I wasn't about to forget them anytime soon. I knew that I would never look at him the same way again.

One thing that wouldn't stop bugging me: _why_ had he said "I'm sorry"? _Why_ had he looked so miserable? Was he sorry for hurting my feelings because he didn't fancy me? Was I really that bad of a kisser? I could not figure this boy out. The most logical explanation I could come up with was that he thought of me only as a friend. We'd kissed, and he was sorry because he didn't think of me like that.

I watched the scene in my head again. The snowball fight, me sneaking up on him, us falling, James inching toward me…

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold the phone.

James was inching towards me. _James_ was inching towards me. James was inching towards _me_.

He'd initiated the kiss.

He must have felt _something_ for me if he wanted to kiss me. But, why'd he run away?

Well, I wasn't going to find the answers in here. I needed to find James.

It was now or never.

It was time for confrontation.

* * *

James must not have made it back to his dormitory, because the Marauder's Map was sitting plain as day on his desk. I snatched it up and muttered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," before frantically combing the parchment for James' dot. I finally found him up on the Astronomy Tower. He was pacing back and forth, so I brought the map with me in case he moved.

I poked my head through the doorway and watched him for a moment. He was pacing agitatedly, muttering to himself. He brushed a hand through his hair every five seconds.

He looked like a wreck.

I pulled back and leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths. This was not going to be easy for me, but it needed to be done. If I didn't talk to him now, it might never happen. And if it never happened, I would wonder about it for the rest of my life.

I took one last breath and rounded the corner.

James saw me as he turned in his pacing and froze in his tracks. He stared at me in alarm before turning on his heel and hurrying in the other direction.

Oh no. There was no way he was running away from me.

"James Potter, don't you dare turn your back on me!" I yelled. He turned around and shoved his hands in his pockets, head bent resolutely toward the floor.

"Why did you run away?" I asked bluntly, not bothering to beat around the bush. If I delayed at all, I might lose my nerve.

He whipped his head up. "You really want to know?" challenged James, his eyes flashing.

"No, James, I came up here to talk about the weather," I retorted sarcastically. "Of course I want to know!"

James took a few steps closer to me. "I ran away because I lost it. I lost my cool. I've fancied you for Merlin knows how many years, but I was too much of an ass for you. I worked so hard this year to be different. I wanted to be closer to you, to get to know you. I locked my feelings down tight and made sure you wouldn't know. I was treading dangerous water with the mistletoe, but I didn't care. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss you right then. I'd told you one of our closely guarded secrets, and I knew you would keep it.

"But I couldn't read the look on your face. You looked slightly panicked, so I lied. I told you that it was no big deal. You seemed a little off the next couple of weeks. And I knew that I'd screwed up big time. I told myself to put my emotions on lockdown, but that present…

"That present was the best I've ever gotten from anyone. You knew all our secrets, and you would keep them. You didn't run away screaming when you found out Remus was a werewolf; instead, you wanted to help him. I found myself fancying-no, I need to be honest here. I found myself loving you more and more each day. We fell on the ground, and I couldn't help it. I wanted-no, needed-to kiss you. And I did. I'm sorry."

James was slightly out of breath after his speech. I was at a loss for words. He loved me? Then why…

"Why the bloody hell are you apologizing?"

James looked confused. "We're friends. I just ruined that."

I looked at him in disbelief. "James, you have got to be the thickest boy I have ever met!"

James looked even more confused. "What do you mean?"

"I have fancied you for…" I trailed off. "Well, actually, I'm not sure exactly how long it's been, but I do fancy you. A lot. That kiss under the mistletoe was the best kiss I'd ever gotten. I don't know how you though I looked panicked. I was amazed. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance you still might have fancied me. But you said it meant nothing. I sucked it up and pretended I was fine. I tried to get over you, but I couldn't. And then, you kissed me in the snow, and I couldn't believe it. But you had to muck it all up and apologize!"

I'd been steadily approaching James the whole time I was speaking until I was standing right in front of him.

James stared at me in wonder. "What?"

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe this will help." Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the front of his robes and kissed him. James froze in shock for a few seconds. He recovered quickly and kissed me back, his arms snaking around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled against his lips.

I couldn't believe my own daring. I'd confessed everything I'd been feeling for the past months to James, and I'd kissed him.

And I didn't regret a moment of it.

We finally pulled away for air. I smiled up at him and giggled at the amazed look on his face.

"You really fancy me?"

"It's a good thing you're cute," I said before pulling him down for another kiss.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for any typos, it's really late for me and I wanted to post this ASAP. I think you'll understand. **


	14. Tickle Fights and Snape, Yet Again

**A/N: Ack! I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, I have a whole list of excuses. Take your pick:**

**1.) I had horrible, horrible writer's block. I had no idea where to go next. I have the next few chapter slightly planned out, but I still need to work on where I want to go.**

…**Well, actually, that's really the only good one. I could not break through. So sorry. Hope the fluff makes up for it.**

**Disclaimer: I only play in the HP universe. I didn't make it.**

* * *

Tickle Fights, Compromising Positions, and Snape, Yet Again

We spent ten more minutes on the Astronomy Tower, though it felt like an eternity. I marveled at my body's reaction every time James kissed me. I didn't think I'd ever tire of the feel of him against me, the smell of Quidditch and his cologne, plus something so indescribably _boy_ that I couldn't identify. It all mixed together to create an intoxicating scent that made me feel calm and safe. If I could have spent the rest of my life in James' arms, I gladly would have. Unfortunately, my body's high intolerance of cold got in the way of those plans.

"You're freezing," whispered James, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"N-no-no I'm not," I said, teeth chattering.

James merely raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, yes I am," I admitted, burrowing closer to him. I pressed my cold nose against his warm neck, causing him to squirm away.

"How about we go to the common room?" he suggested, rubbing his throat. He took my hand and pulled me down the stairs. Once I drew level with him in the hall, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close.

I didn't mind in the slightest, but I gave him a confused look anyway.

"I didn't think I'd ever get to hold you like this, ever," he explained. "Now that I can, I don't want to stop."

I blushed pink. I still couldn't believe that he'd loved me all those years, all _this_ year.

We walked to the common room in silence, walking side-by-side. I fit perfectly against him, like a missing jigsaw piece. When we reached the Head portrait hole, James held up a hand to help me inside. I ignored it and walked past him, climbing through myself. We may have been dating, but that didn't mean I needed his help for everything.

I suddenly froze. _Were_ we dating? Yeah, we kissed. Okay, more like snogged. A lot. But did that mean we were dating? I fervently hoped so. I was not going to be some secret fling.

Though I did worry about how the rest of the school would react.

Great. I thought all my problems would be solved when I told James how I felt, but now I had a whole new can of worms to deal with.

Damn you, over-analytical brain.

"Lily? You alright?"

I realized that I'd stopped in the portrait hole. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I croaked out, my voice hoarse. I finished crawling through and took a seat on the couch, staring at the fire.

James sat next to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. I just sat there, not responding. I was too busy overanalyzing everything that had happened that day.

James tried to make conversation, but his lame attempts fell short. We sat in an awkward silence before the fire.

"Y'know, this doesn't have to be awkward," James said after a particularly painful five minutes.

I said nothing.

"I mean, we're still friends. We're just snogging now."

I shifted to the other side of the sofa in alarm. "Are you trying to say this is a friends with benefits thing? 'Cause I will tell you right now that there is no way I am agreeing to that."

James looked at me in alarm. "What? No, no! I phrased that really badly…"

I blew out a breath. "Yeah. Yeah, you did."

James thought for a bit, then turned abruptly to me. "I know what's wrong."

"What?"

He looked straight into my eyes, hazel meeting green. I felt a little weak from the intensity of his gaze. "I will ask you, for the very last time: Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"

I glanced at my lap shyly, unable to look at him. "Yes. I will."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw James' face split into a huge grin. "Knew that would do it," he said, leaning back with his arms tucked behind his head. I was suddenly reminded of that day on the train, when I'd second-guessed every movement, looking for an ulterior motive. Things had certainly changed since then.

"Girls always get a bit nutty when you don't 'define the relationship'," he said, adding air quotes to the last part.

"I was _not_ going nutty," I said indignantly, crossing my arms.

"You were," replied James smugly. His arrogance was betrayed by the happiness in his eyes; he really was glad he'd cleared the air.

"Was not!" I protested huffily, poking his side. For the second time that day, James gave an almighty spasm and fell to the floor with a 'thump'.

A wicked grin grew on my face as I remembered the useful piece of information I'd tucked away: James was ticklish.

"Don't—you—dare," threatened James, inching away from me.

I held still for a moment, then launched myself at him. I poked every inch of exposed rib I could reach, trying to get revenge. I did not like being called nutty.

We tussled around on the floor, me poking, James grabbing my hands and trying to poke back. Unfortunately, I was ticklish as well. This tickle fight was not turning out well for either of us.

James had rolled over, trying to defend himself, and I saw my opportunity. I sat on his chest, pinning his arms down with my knees.

"I've got you now," I crowed triumphantly, reaching down toward his exposed sides.

"What the bloody Merlin is going on?" cried a stunned voice.

I whipped around to find gleeful-looking Sirius and a shell-shocked Remus standing in front of the portrait hole, looking at us in disbelief. For a second I wondered why they looked so bewildered, but then I realized how we must have looked. I was sitting on James. On top of James.

Oh bugger.

I scrambled away. "Uh…tickle fight?" I supplied sheepishly, knowing they wouldn't buy it, but hoping they would at the same time.

They didn't. "Yeah, right," Sirius scoffed. "Friends don't do that."

"Mind telling us what's really happened?" asked Remus faintly, having finally found his voice.

"Yeah, mate. You've been gone all day!" Sirius added, pouting.

I was wracking my brain, trying to find a logical explanation for what they'd seen, when James came up behind me, slipping his arms around my waist. He set his chin on my shoulder and just looked at the other Marauders, doing that silent-communication thing they'd perfected.

"No way…" breathed Sirius.

"So soon?" questioned Remus, looking skeptical.

I squirmed uncomfortably under their gaze, not liking the way they were looking at me.

"Yes!" crowed a triumphant Sirius, his fist pumping the air. The sudden cry made me start. "I win! Pay up, Moony!"

Remus sighed dejectedly and pulled out a few Galleons, slapping them onto Sirius' hand.

"You—you bet on us?" I cried indignantly.

Sirius nodded. "We wondered how long it'd take for you to fall for the new and improved Prongs. Remus here thought you'd last until spring, but I bet it'd only be 'til winter. And I was right!"

Well, I hadn't been sure how the other Marauders would take to James and me dating, but I hadn't been expecting this.

"Next Hogsmeade trip, we'll all go to the Three Broomsticks to celebrate. It's too cold now, else we'd sneak out. Moony'll buy."

"You just took the last of my pocket money, Padfoot," said Remus sourly.

"Oh yeah," said Sirius, staring down at the money in his hand. "I'll buy then."

"Yeah, right," muttered Remus, pulling Sirius out of the common room. He gave me a look that said _you owe me_.

I thanked him silently for leading Sirius away. I did not feel as hostile toward him as I did in the beginning of the year, but I still felt that it was best to handle him in small doses.

"Well," James said. "That was…interesting."

"To say the least," I added, and suddenly, all the tension was gone. We were as close as ever; closer, even. We stayed in the common room all day, talking on the couch (there may or may not have been some snogging thrown in). We only left when a massive growl erupted from James' stomach.

"C'mon," I said, pulling him up.

"What? I want to stay here with you," he pouted.

"Well, your stomach doesn't. And an unhappy stomach means an unhappy James."

He sulked a bit.

"James!" I cried in irritation. "I'm coming with you!"

"Oh yeah," he said, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Honestly," I grumbled, pushing him toward the door, "You're so thick sometimes."

"But you love me anyway," he said cheerily.

"Don't know why." I continued with him down to dinner, but my mind was elsewhere. It'd taken me a long enough time to concede that I may have fancied him, and know here I was, steadily accepting and admitting that I loved him. This swift change in emotion scared me. I'd never felt or acted like this around any other boy, then this one waltzes along, a boy I'd sworn to hate, and now suddenly my life was upside down. I'd fallen, fast. It felt great now, but who knew how long it would last?

I just hoped I didn't get hurt.

* * *

The next problem I had to tackle was how to tell Alice and Marlene. I ruled out owl, as this was something best done face-to-face. I could just imagine the letter. _Hello, hope you're having a nice break, and did I mention that I'm now dating James Potter?_ Yeah, that wouldn't go over so well. I needed to tell them soon, before they walked in us like Sirius and Remus had.

I was driving James up the wall with my stressing, I could tell. But I couldn't shut my brain off. I kept running through possibilities.

"Lily?" James called from my left. I was in the middle of wondering whether an immediate confession was better than a procrastinated one. I turned, breaking free of my thoughts, to find that James' lips were suddenly on mine.

I responded enthusiastically, sighing as I let all my worries crash to the floor and shatter. "How do you do that?" I demanded once he'd pulled away.

"Do what?" he asked, his grin just a tad mischievous, as if he already knew what my answer was.

"How do you manage to make me forget everything as soon as you kiss me?"

He leaned closer, and his smell washed over me, causing my breathing to hitch and my pulse to leap.

"I guess I just have that effect," he murmured, kissing my neck.

I closed my eyes and took a shuddering breath. Then they snapped open, and I decided that it was unfair that he relished the fact that he had such an effect on me. It was time to know how much I affected him.

Two could play this game.

I pushed him away just a bit, enough so he was in front of me. I locked eyes with him, and gave him the most penetrating stare I could. "And what about me?"

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. "What about you?" he asked hoarsely, his voice just a tad higher.

"How do I affect you, James?"

He was rendered speechless as I ran my hand down his cheek. A muscle twitched in his jaw, bringing my attention to the small scar I'd noticed in the common room so many months ago. "What's this from?" I asked, running my finger along it.

"What?" he said blankly, still staring at me.

I lowered the force of my gaze and said, "Your scar."

"Oh. That," he said, looking down. He didn't answer.

"James," I said softly. "Please tell me."

My pleading must have worked, for he brought his eyes back to mine and started talking.

"Do you, uh—do you remember that day, down by the lake? After O.?"

I knew immediately to what incident he was referring. "Yeah."

"Do you remember the curse Snape threw? The one that hit me?"

I did. Snape had thrown a hex I hadn't ever seen before. He had drawn blood, hitting the side of James' face. A pit of dread grew in my stomach.

"Well," said James, not wanting to continue, "That's the scar it left. Madame Pomfrey doesn't think it'll ever go away."

The pit of dread in my stomach turned to ire. My hands balled up to fists on either side of James' face. I felt so angry at Snape at that moment, more than I'd ever felt before. While the jinxes James and Sirius had thrown were humiliating, they weren't designed to injure. Snape had meant to purposely harm James.

James took my hands and gently guided then away from his face. He kissed them and said, "Please just forget about it, Lily. It was a long time ago."

My anger dissolved into sadness. I sighed, defeated. There was nothing I could do about what had happened. The past was the past.

"But, Lily—" James said hesitantly. He paused, then tried again. "I have to know. Were you two ever—?"

But I was already shaking my head. "No." I thought for a moment. "But I think he wanted to."

"I _know_ he wanted to," James said fervently. "He looked at you the way I do."

I blushed and looked down. James lifted my chin up gently and said, "But enough of this serious talk. Don't you have some worrying and stressing to do?"

I gasped as I realized that I still hadn't figured out how to tell Alice and Marlene. My brain kicked back into overdrive.

"Lily? Uh, Lily? I wasn't serious…ah, dammit."

* * *

**A/N: More fluff than I intended, but who doesn't love that? Marlene and Alice will find out next chapter. The rest of the school? I'm not really sure yet. Reviews are lovely! I hope to beat my record of 139 for one story. I'm getting close!**


	15. Revelations and The List

**A/N: Hello, my luverly readers. This would've been up sooner (although it's only been two days since the last chapter), but I had to delete half of it. I didn't like where it was going. I like this version much better, but be warned, it's kind of an introspection chapter. Which is partially why it was so hard to write. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I only play in the HP universe, I do not own.**

* * *

Revelations and The List

Oh Merlin. Oh my Merlin. I couldn't do this. I could not do this. James and I were walking along the path to the Hogsmeade station. Christmas break was over and the rest of the school population would be returning today.

Which meant telling my friends about our relationship.

"Lily, calm down. These are your friends," whispered James, leaning toward me.

"That may be," I said, "But you haven't really seen them when they're angry."

"You honestly think they'll be angry?" asked James skeptically.

"For a few minutes. Then they'll be ecstatically happy."

James rolled his eyes. "Girls are crazy."

I shrugged. We could be pretty bipolar at times.

"But if they'll only be mad at you for a little while, why are you so anxious?"

I mumbled a bit.

"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that."

I glared at him in frustration. "You enjoy this, don't you?"

"Enjoy what?" he asked, with an innocent expression on his face.

"I don't like people being vexed with me."

James looked at me incredulously. "You? Miss Badass Head Girl? You're a people-pleaser?"

I rounded on him, jabbing a finger in his face. "Let me get one thing straight. I am _not_ a people-pleaser. I will go against people…I just don't like it."

James looked like he still didn't believe me.

I sighed. "When we hated each other—"

James cut me off. "When _you_ hated me. I never hated you."

I looked at him cynically. "Oh, come on. There had to be a day when for the slightest second, you harbored some ill-will towards me."

He thought for a moment, eyebrows furrowing. "Okay, so maybe once or twice I was _annoyed_ with you…"

I lifted an eyebrow.

"Okay, so maybe every time you turned me down or turned me in."

"James. That's quite a lot of times."

"Yeah. Sirius never understood why I kept fancying you."

"_Anyway_, back to the point…Our fights tore me up a little on the inside. I didn't like thinking that anyone was irritated with me. That's why I'm so upset about my sister."

"That, and because she's your _sister_," added James. "Sisters don't do that."

"You don't have a sister, James," I added, a little ticked. James didn't understand this.

"Fine then. Family doesn't do that. You don't betray relatives." Suddenly, James' expression darkened, and I had the feeling that he was no longer referencing my family life.

"Uh, James?"

He snapped out of it, shaking his head a bit. "Sorry. Continue."

"Even if my friends are only mad at me for a few seconds, I don't like it."

"You're kind of stuck in a vicious downward spiral, aren't you?"

I shot him a confused look.

James elaborated. "Well, you're afraid that your friends will be mad at you for not telling them something, so you put it off. When they finally find out, they're angrier with you than they would have been before. So you stop telling them things, and then they get angrier. How about you just tell them?"

I stared at him in surprise. "You have a deeper understanding of the female psyche than I gave you credit for."

James puffed out his chest in pride. "Why, thank you."

"Pansy."

He looked insulted. "That sounded like a compliment."

"Nope. Guys are supposed to remain clueless. Then we can yell at you when you screw up."

James realized I was teasing. "You're evil."

I shot him a winning smile and skipped ahead. Suddenly, a cold, wet slushball hit the back of my head.

"Got you!" he crowed in triumph, doing a little celebration dance. I stalked toward him, and he shrank back, fear flickering in his eyes.

I switched tactics. "Hey, James?" I purred, lowering my voice.

The panic melted off his expression. "Yes?" he asked eagerly.

My hands crept up his jacket, and I abruptly shoved him down into the snow. Unfortunately, those Quidditch reflexes caught me by surprise yet again, and he pulled me down with him. I found myself on top of James in the snow.

"Hey, this is familiar," chuckled James.

I pretended to be thoughtful. "You know, I'm drawing a blank. Care to fill me in?"

"As you wish," whispered James, drawing closer to me. Our lips were almost touching when—

"Oi! Lovebirds! Unless you want the whole school to see you like that, I suggest you get up. Like, now!"

I scrambled up off of James at the sound of Sirius' voice. This would _not_ be how my friends found out. I caught a flicker of disappointment on James' face before he lifted himself off the ground. I brushed the snow off myself and James before turning toward the station. I felt James' hand slip into mine, and my heartbeat slowed from its rampaging pace.

The smooth, scarlet train came huffing and puffing into the station, taking its good, sweet time getting here. I bounced on the balls of my feet, trying to rid myself of some nervous energy.

"You are blowing this _way_ out of proportion," muttered James. I ignored him, searching through the now disembarking passengers. I saw Marlene's rainbow hair bobbing through the crowd, and I knew that Alice wasn't far behind.

"Lily!" squealed Marlene, having caught sight of my red hair. She pushed her way through the crowd and ran to greet me, but stopped dead, her gaze frozen on me. I looked at her, puzzled at her reaction. I wasn't snogging James in the middle of the station; why was she reacting like this? Alice shoved her way past two particularly large Slytherins before spotting the same thing Marlene had. She also froze, gaping.

I frowned. They weren't staring at my face, or at James. They were looking a bit lower. I turned my gaze downward to try and spot whatever was so fascinating to them.

I was still holding James' hand.

Well. Not exactly how I would've chosen to tell them.

Marlene recovered first. "When?" she demanded, hands on hips.

"Christmas."

"Where?"

"Astronomy Tower."

"You'll tell me how later," she said in a businesslike fashion. Suddenly, her face broke out in a grin and she tackled me in a giant hug. "It's about time!"

I smiled at her, but my gaze was drawn to Alice, who hadn't yet spoken a word. She didn't look very happy. Her expression was full of hurt.

"Lily?" she asked quietly. "Can I talk to you over here?" I winced at her soft tone. Alice only sounded like that when she was pretty angry.

James squeezed my hand before I left, but it didn't make me feel any better. Somehow, I'd hurt Alice. She was such a sweet and gentle person, and I felt horribly guilty for whatever I'd done.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to send an owl. This was a face-to-face topic," I said, trying to redeem myself.

She took a minute to gather her thoughts, then said, "That's not why I'm pissed. I'm pissed because we didn't even know that you were close to being in a relationship with him. Don't you think we'd have liked to know that?"

I nodded, tears pricking my eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I just could barely admit what I was feeling to myself, let alone anyone else." My eyes pleaded with hers.

Her expression softened. "I guess I can understand that. I just don't like feeling that you don't trust me."

"No!" I cried, dismayed. "That wasn't my intent! I trust you both with my life. Well, you more so than Marlene."

Alice's face split into a grin, and I knew we were okay. She rearranged her features into a stern look, which resembled something like a kitten playacting a lion. "Just don't do it again, okay?"

I mock saluted. "Aye, aye, cap'n."

She smiled and hugged me, whispering a "Congratulations," in my ear.

I heaved a sigh of relief as we headed back to the rest of the group. My friends knew, and were okay with it.

…Now for the rest of the school.

Sometimes I really hate my life.

* * *

_One week later_

I fumed on the couch in the common room, not wanting to think about the argument that had just taken place. I knew we were both in the wrong, but the blame fell mostly on me. Which is why I didn't want to think about it. Why was I always screwing up around him? Did my brain have a relationship death wish?

_I'd just ducked away from James, who was heading in my direction. I didn't want him trying to kiss me, not in the crowded hallway. I'd slipped behind a tapestry and into a secret passageway, waiting for him to follow. I grinned as he stepped through and wound my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. _

_ But something was wrong. The look in his eyes was steely, not playful. He didn't touch me gently; his hands had a mechanical feel to them._

_ "James?" I asked, frowning. "What's wrong?"_

_ "I don't think you want to know."_

_ "Of course I do!"_

_ "It's been a week."_

_ I didn't need to ask what he meant. "I'm just not ready yet."_

_ "I don't think you ever will be."_

_ I stepped away, sparks flaring in my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

_ "It was hard enough for you to tell your friends. I should have known that you wouldn't want to tell the school."_

_ "But I do! Eventually…"_

_ "Eventually? You don't need to lie to me, Lily. You'd keep this a secret for as long as you could."_

_ "So? Why does it even matter to you?"_

_"You asked if I wanted a secret fling. You said you wouldn't agree to that. I said no. But maybe that's really what you want. You get to be with me, but no one has to know. No one will think lesser of you for falling for James Potter. But you know what? Maybe that's not even true. Maybe this just your little joke on me. Maybe you're trying to get revenge. But you know what? I don't even care anymore. You're ashamed to be seen with me. That's all I care about." His expression was angry, but there was a dead, haunted look in his eyes. This was really hurting him._

_ "That's not true. And you know it." I felt a wetness behind my eyes, and they began to sting._

_ "Do I? Then why won't you tell the whole school about us? Why won't you be seen near me in the Great Hall? Why won't you kiss me when other people are around? Seems like you want to keep this secret," he replied in a hollow tone._

_ "No…" My voice wavered as I trailed off._

_ "Is that it? Is that all you're going to say?" James demanded, running his hands through his hair._

_ "I don't know how to phrase what I want to say! I don't know what I'm feeling!" I protested._

_ "That seems to be a pattern for you," he said humorlessly. "You may want to figure things out soon."_

_ And he left, leaving me alone in a dark, dusty old passageway with my feelings, thoughts, and fears hovering over me, taunting me. I couldn't understand my own emotions, and it had cost me more than I could even understand. _

I buried my head in my hands and sniffed as tears pricked my eyes. I felt so content around him, so much like myself. I could tell him anything, and I knew he would listen and try to understand. He certainly wasn't perfect. But he was there for me. And I was about to lose it all.

I tried to calm down and decided to take James' advice. I needed to figure out what I was feeling.

Was I scared of the school finding out? Hell, yes. The Hogwarts gossipmongers were vicious; I did not want to hear what they would have to say about my relationship. I didn't want them to think that I was the latest to fall for James' charms. That would be unfair to him. They didn't know how he'd changed like I did.

But…that was a lie. I cared more about what they'd think of me than what they'd think of him. I didn't want to be seen as another one of his conquests. Even though I knew it wasn't true, I didn't want others looking at me and thinking that. It was shallow, I know. But I was still a teenage girl with insecurities.

I sighed and slumped over on the couch. Why did life have to be so hard? Why couldn't everyone just piss off and mind their own business? What made our lives so interesting? Were they trying to stir up trouble?

Maybe they were just jealous. James was very attractive, second in the school only to Sirius Black. Many, many girls were secretly (and not so secretly) in love with him. Perhaps their only motive was to steal him from me.

Okay, now I sounded paranoid. Yes, everyone was going to gossip about us to split us up.

Note the heavy sarcasm in the last sentence.

I really didn't have a chance of explaining how I felt to James. My excuses sounded flimsy and stupid, and I knew James would just scoff at them.

This wasn't working. I groaned in frustration and ground my palms into my eyes until I saw starbursts. Maybe I was getting too emotional and frazzled about this whole thing.

It was time to break out The List. I needed to organize my feelings in a logical way, and then maybe I could make progress.

Okay, so The List rarely worked, but I was getting desperate.

Emotion number one, surprisingly, was anger. I saw James' face in my mind, his expression heated. A flash of annoyance and ire ran through me. I knew where James was coming from, but he also needed to understand how _I_ felt. He wouldn't even listen to my side of the story, just barreled on about himself and his feelings. The arrogance I'd hated for so long wasn't normally visible, but it had cropped up immediately during our argument. And while realizing that I was angry at him was helpful, it probably wouldn't promote my case much.

Next emotion: guilt. James had worked so hard to earn my affections, and now that he had them, all he wanted to do was share it with the world. And I was saying no. That was unfair to him, and a burning shame caused my head to spin. I was being stupid.

…Which led to conflict. Yes, I wanted James to be able to tell the world that I was his, but I didn't want to be gossiped about. I'd always hated the girls who'd talk behind other's backs and spread vicious rumors. I was soon to become their target.

Emotion four? Self-consciousness (was that a word? Whatever, I'm still using it). I didn't always feel super-duper about myself, and I knew that being the target of the likes of Dorcas Meadowes would not be beneficial.

But…did I really need to worry about that? When James was by my side, I felt like I could handle anything. Besides, hadn't James been the target of most of these girls since he first set foot at Hogwarts? If he didn't care about what they said, then why should I?

I jerked my head up and stared into the fire crackling in the hearth. I'd figured it out. The List had actually worked.

…That was a first.

I stood abruptly and left the common room. I had a mission.

I went straight to the Great Hall, as I knew James would be there. It was lunch time, and the Great Hall would be at its fullest right about now.

Perfect for my plan.

I tried to project confidence as I strode quickly to James' seat. Sirius caught sight of me first and tugged on James' sleeve, pointing in my direction. He turned around and fixed me with yet another unreadable stare.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, my voice wavering slightly.

He nodded and stood up, gesturing for me to lead the way.

I shook my head and said, "Right here's fine."

Hope flickered briefly over his face before he could keep his expression neutral.

"So, I was doing some thinking. Dangerous, I know," I quipped, trying to get a reaction. When he didn't respond, I added, "Okay, stop with the Mr. Statue act. You look like the creepy bust out in the Entrance Hall."

That got a reaction. His lips quirked up in a small smile, and he relaxed slightly.

"Okay, a bit better. So, I was doing some deep thinking and self-discovery and all that jazz, and I realized…" I paused. "Oh, screw it."

I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the mouth.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, kissing me back. I vaguely registered that the Great Hall was now completely silent. When we broke apart, after what seemed like an age, but was probably only a couple of moments, chatter broke out. Some were cheering, some were gossiping (yet I found that I didn't care anymore), and yes, money was exchanging hands. Of course, this only really happened at the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff tables. No one at the Slytherin table seemed to care.

Except one.

My eyes sought out the familiar sallow face and long, black hair. Snape looked as if someone had shoved something extremely sour down his throat, followed immediately by something bitter. But what killed me about his expression was the pain. Disgust, I could handle. But I knew about his life. I knew what he went home to every summer. He'd experienced enough pain in his life, and I didn't want to be the cause of more.

But I wasn't going to sacrifice my happiness for him. Not after what he called me. He'd had his chance.

And he'd lost it. Squandered it away on friends who would desert him in an instant.

I tried to tell him all this in a single glance. _You had your chance._

He froze, then nodded slowly. But the stare he gave James was absolutely poisonous. My grip on him immediately tightened. I gave Snape another look.

_Hurt him, and you hurt me._

He didn't respond, only looked down and avoided my eyes.

"Everything alright?" asked James.

I tore my gaze away from the Slytherin table and looked back at him. "Hm? Yeah, I'm fine."

And that was the truth.

At least, for now. But we all know what my life is like.

* * *

**A/N: Right now, this author's note is important, so listen up. **

…**Cue Mission Impossible music!**

**Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give me ideas. I have no idea where this will end up going. I need help! Is there something you'd like to see? A situation you think our favorite couple will end up in? A scene that you'd like to have play out? If your idea makes its way into my story, I will credit you in my author's note. **

**For example: The idea of the very end scene with Snape came from iCarlyFTW77. I don't know if you meant to inspire me or not, but that scene happened because I took the time and thought, "Hmmm. I hadn't thought about Snape's reaction." So this scene was born (and turned out much better than I expected). So thank you!**

**No ideas? No worries. Simply leave a review and tell me what you think! And if you're giving me an idea, tell me what you think of the story too. I love feedback!**


	16. Author's Note

**A/N: Okay, I'm really sorry that I updated only for you to find that this is just an author's note. But it's a very important author's note. **

**First off, bloody hell! You guys responded to my mission, alright. And I loved all your ideas. But I feel agree with Loslote and TheHollyWand, both of whom said that last chapter ended the story really nicely. I tried to write another chapter using some suggestions, but I was really unhappy with what I came up with. It seemed…not right. Then I reread the last chapter and felt like it ended so well. But I don't just want to cut it off and say, "Thanks for the ideas, but it's over!" So…(drum roll, please)**

**I'm starting another! This one will have a lot of your ideas, but it will be very different than this one. It'll be a little darker, Voldemort will be mentioned, Lily will be a little more badass, James will be a little less perfect, Alice and Marlene will not be a part of it, and things will just play about a lot differently. I thought it would be a great challenge for me as a writer, to write the same situation (boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl hates boy, boy changes, girl falls in love with boy, you know, same old, same old), but have it play out differently. I'm sorry for those who really liked this story and wanted to see it continue, but it wrapped up so well! I do have another one coming out, though. More on that near the bottom. **

**I also would like to thank those readers who have been with me since the beginning. You guys are amazing, and I can't believe that you stuck with me all that time! And thank you to all new readers. I'm glad there's something in this story you guys like. **

**Oh, and I just want to say this: 85 story alerts. 61 favorites. 139 reviews.** **You guys have either tied or blown away all my records for these categories. When I started this, I got nowhere near the amount of responses I get now, but somewhere along the way, it took off. Which is partly why it was so hard to end this. I put so much time and effort into this; I don't want to end it! (Who knows, maybe I'll do a companion piece from James' point of view?) And believe me, guys, this decision was so hard to make. **

**But I do hope you come and read my new story. I know it won't be exactly like this one, but it's still a Lily/James! Written by moi! **

**It's called Love Thine Enemy. And I will post it as soon as I post this. So please, go read it. I hope to have at least the same amount of readership as I do for this story. But hey, if it's not your cup of tea, it isn't. I'm just asking for you to try it. **

**See you there! **

**Lots o' love, **

**~tink**


	17. Epilogue

**A/N: iCarlyFTW77 asked for an epilogue, so who am I deny you? Here is the last chapter in Of Lucky Socks and Lollipops.**

**Disclaimer: I only play, I do not own.**

* * *

"Your feet smell _awful_."

I lifted my head from the pillow I was resting on and shot him a glare. Or I tried to as I craned my neck over my mountainous stomach. "That's a nice thing to say to the woman carrying your unborn child."

He chuckled. "Sorry, love." He pulled my feet up and slid under, setting them down on his lap. He started rubbing the soles of my feet.

"That feels heavenly," I sighed, closing my eyes.

"You still have these socks? Why?"

"They're my lucky socks," I defended. "Of course I still have them."

"Surely you don't believe in all that superstition?" he asked skeptically.

"Not usually," I admitted, sitting up. I leaned against James and said, "But I was wearing them when we became friends. And when you rescued me from that awful date. Those were pretty big milestones, you have to admit."

"But were you wearing them that Christmas? Were you wearing them when we got married?" he challenged.

I shook my head.

"See? You didn't need luck. Those things would have happened eventually."

"You don't believe in luck, do you?"

He smiled and kissed me softly. "I believe we make our own luck."

We sat in silence, my head resting on his chest, listening to his thrumming heartbeat.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we talk about what to name the baby? I mean, he's due any day now. I want to be able to call him something when I hold him for the first time."

"Sure. Do you have any ideas?"

"Could we—" my voice cracked, and I tried again. "If it's a girl, can we name her Marlene?" Marlene had been killed on a mission for the Order, and her absence still smarted. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and continued. "I mean, she was so brave, and I can't really think of a better person—"

James cut me off. "Of course we can. But what if he's a boy?"

I was stumped; I hadn't really thought of that.

"Can we name him after my father?" asked James a moment later.

I wrinkled my nose. "Harold?"

"Mum called him Harry," said James softly, lost in memories.

"Yeah," I whispered, looking up at him. "Harry Potter. That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"I always thought so," said James, smiling.

"Harry or Marlene Potter. I like it," I approved. James and I sat together for a few more minutes, until…

"James," I gasped, sitting bolt upright. "It's time. Baby's coming!"

"What?" he asked dumbly, staring at me.

"I'm in labor, James," I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure?"

"No James, I'm just pretending to for fun! Yes, I'm damn sure!"

"Okay, okay," he said leaping up. He looked around frantically.

"St. Mungo's, James!" I cried.

"Right." He finally snapped out of it and led me to the fireplace.

* * *

The subsequent hours passed by in a blur of pain, sweat, and blood. I vaguely registered yelling and screaming, but the one sound that cut through it all was the tiny cry of a newborn infant.

"My baby," I panted. "I want my baby."

"They're just checking him out, making sure he's healthy," soothed James, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I want to hold him," I insisted stubbornly, before comprehending what had been said. "He? It's a boy?"

There were tears in his eyes as he answered. "Yeah. A little baby boy. A son."

"There you are Mrs. Potter. A healthy son," beamed a nurse, passing me a small bundle of blankets. I didn't pay attention to anything she said; I was too focused on the infant in front of me.

A tiny, perfect little baby lay in my arms, fast asleep. I chuckled at the small shock of untidy black hair on the top of his head.

"He has your hair," I whispered, trying not to wake my baby. My son. James was grinning hugely at my shoulder.

"He'll never be able to tame it."

Hearing this, he woke up, opening his eyes and staring at me.

"He has your eyes," said James softly.

And he did. A pair of sharp, emerald green eyes met my own. I knew from the books I'd read that he couldn't focus on my face, but his gaze was too direct. I knew he was seeing me.

"Harry James Potter," I whispered, not breaking my gaze.

"What?" asked James, slightly confused.

"I want his middle name to be James."

"But—why?"

"I can't think of anyone better. I want him to be named after his brilliant, daring, and courageous father."

"You forgot devilishly handsome."

"Ah, of course. I could I forget?" I said, smiling up at him. He kissed me softly before turning his attention back to Harry.

My son. Our son.

I remembered what James had said to me on the couch. _We make our own luck._

Somehow, I had the feeling that Harry was going to be one lucky kid.

Suddenly, his perfect little face screwed up and he started to cry.

"Shh, don't worry, Harry. Mummy's here. I'll be with you forever."

* * *

Forever turned out to be a lot shorter than I'd thought.

I'd only spent one year and two months with my son before he was ripped away from me.

It started out a perfectly normal evening. I'd just taken Harry upstairs to put him to bed, when a deafening crashing sound echoed throughout the house. Then came James' voice, panicked and terrified.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"

No. It couldn't be…

He was here. Voldemort was here, in our house.

_And he was after Harry_.

I tightened my grip on him. He squirmed and gave a soft cry.

"Shh, honey. Everything will be okay," I whispered, sprinting to his room. I set him down and turned to the door, looking for things to barricade it with.

But there was a flash of green light and a cold, evil laugh. I heard a thump as something hit the floor, and suddenly I knew.

Everything was _not_ going to be alright. How could it, when the man I loved was lying dead on the floor downstairs? How could it, when I was never going to see him smile or play with Harry again? How could it, when he was _gone_?

A choked sob escaped from my lips. I'd spent so much time hating James, so much time detesting him, and so little loving him. Death was cruel. I'd had practically no time with him! We were supposed to have many children, and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to have a long life.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He wasn't supposed to leave me now. He wasn't supposed to leave Harry…

Harry. His face burst into my mind instantly. Voldemort couldn't have him. Harry was _mine_.

Filled with a new resolve, I dragged any furniture I could find in front of the door. I hoped it was enough to stop him. But it was a vain hope. I knew that no amount of obstacles would dissuade him.

But I had to _try_. For Harry.

I turned and kneeled in front of his crib, locking eyes with him. "Be safe, Harry," I whispered, tears filling my eyes. "Be strong."

I knew what would happen before it did.

The sound of cracking wood filled the room, and I leaped up, spinning around to face the door. A cloaked figure filled the doorway. I stood resolutely in front of my son. This bastard was _not_ taking him from me. He was the only part of James I had left. He was my son.

And I'll be damned if this bastard was taking him.

"Stand aside, you silly girl," he said disdainfully, a bored tone infecting his speech.

He didn't care. He didn't care how many lives he destroyed. He didn't care that he'd just _murdered_ my husband in cold blood.

The thought of James lying on the floor, eyes open and unseeing, filled me with an intense rush of grief.

He was gone.

_But Harry was still here._

"Not Harry, please no don't kill him, take me, kill me instead —" I begged. I would do anything to save my son; I would lay down my life for him…

"This is my last warning—"

"Not Harry! Please ... have mercy ... Not Harry! Please — I'll do anything..." I pleaded, tears pouring from my eyes. If Voldemort didn't kill me, watching Harry die at his hands most certainly would.

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

Suddenly, my world was filled with a green light, and I knew this was the end. I would never see Harry off to Hogwarts, never see him grow up. I would never see him fall in love, never see him marry. I would never hold his children; I would never see him live his life.

But I would see James.

I could feel him just out of reach, holding a hand out to me as I reluctantly greeted Death. I took one last look at the scene below me. My body was sprawled out across the floor. Harry was sitting in his crib, blood trickling down his face…but he was alive. Voldemort was nowhere to be seen.

My baby was alive.

I fell into step beside Death as I left this world. Suddenly, James' face appeared before me, laughing and smiling. He looked exactly as he had before things had gone horribly wrong, like the husband I'd left on the couch only ten minutes ago. I stepped into his welcoming arms, and I somehow knew that everything _would_ be alright.

* * *

**A/N: That was…very cathartic to write, actually. Now, I know a bunch of you are very sad that I decided to end the story here, but I have started writing another one. It's called Love Thine Enemy, and chapter 1 is already up. Chapter 2 is written and I'm working on chapter 3. **

**Please leave a review telling me what you thought of the epilogue, what you thought of the story, and/or both! **


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